Hit Parade

It's normal to see crows the size of California condors picking at the Dumpsters in question; routinely the receptacles overflow into the adjoining parking lot, providing nourishing secondhand food to creatures of both heaven (crows) and earth (rats and other small mammals). On this day, though, the coyote-esque scavenger dog beat the carrion birds to the prize, aggressively snatching the large meat-filled croissant before swaggering across Delmar, cars gently weaving to avoid this nervy carnivore.

As is often true in life, there's no moral to this story, nor much of a point. It's simply a story, told for the sake of the telling. We won't even get into the one about the squirrel that was licking a beer bottle like a pint-sized human being!

B(e)SIDES: Our eyes and ears are close to the ground. And close to the press-release file, too. A group called the Black Radical Congress-St. Louis is kick-starting a year-long study series on "U.S. politics, economics and racism and Black activism in St. Louis" called "Arch of Oppression, Circle of Resistance: St. Louis' Political Economy and Black Community Underdevelopment." It'll take place on Sunday, May 2, at the Ujamma Maktaba Bookstore, 4267 Manchester. Call 355-3238 for information. The first guest speaker is Gordon Baum. Just kidding!... Also on May 2, a broad group of community groups will discuss the eyesore formerly known as the Southtown Famous-Barr. The locals will meet at St. Mary Magdalen School, 4323 S. Kingshighway, at 2 p.m. Politicians in attendance had better bring some answers -- and some thick skin. They'll need both. An observant reader notes that "Hit Parade Haiku" is not haiku, because ours has lacked references to a season. This is correct. Shame on the rest of you for not noticing! However, we recite this phrase from the first installment: "bastardizing an ancient art form." For now, "Hit Parade Haiku" is on "Hit Parade" hiatus.... Last week it was mentioned that Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka would be in town to wrestle at Webster University (and to sign personal Polaroids for $8!). Though the Samoan superstar has lost a bit of his muscularity, no one in the Grant Gym could contain themselves when the veteran grappler went top-rope! Yes! Long live Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka!... Fun lunch pairing of the week: Brian McKenna and Onion Horton, sharing pulled-pork sandwiches, fires and a drink at Super Smokers. Let's make this happen!

"HIT PARADE" TOP SEVEN: The Top Seven mixology clinics in which you're unlikely to trip into "der Bergermeister," Jerry Berger (though you never know):

7. Captain's Table
6. Friendly's Pub & Restaurant
5. Betty's Bar
4. Frederick's Music Lounge
3. Big Drink No. 1
2. PT's, Centreville
1. That Other Place

E-mail tips, quips and assorted threats to [email protected].

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