Hit Parade

Matt Anderson's three-month run as artist-in-residence at the old Soho Coffeehouse/Hesselberg Drugs building has run its course. Meanwhile, down the block, The Future Antiques (a.k.a. T.F.A.) is bullish on the retro market. They're sliding into a neighboring space at 3201 S. Grand. More elbow room. Boffo!

Our CWE bureau checks in with these observations: "Carnahan for Senate staffer Emily Elbert was recently seen taking orders for a Ted Drewes run from local North Euclid business owner Martin Hollandsworth, of Martin's Galleries: "One blueberry concrete and one chocolate shake." Now the truth is told! Also: "Julie Lastarria and John Powell were agitated and argumentative with management at Karma when their cover charge had not been returned after waiting in an empty room until 11:40 p.m. No bands, including Season to Risk, had gone onstage. They left disgruntled and $10 short." Harrumph!

READING TIME, SEVEN SECONDS: Free the Golden Nugget.

Does Greg Tsevis, owner of the disintegrating (but recyclable) Avalon Cinema, return phone calls to any newspaper in town? Apparently not. Put this character on a milk carton!

Speaking of theaters, another ol' movie house of lore is up for grabs. The Melvin, used by the worshipful Goad International, is for sale, down Chippewa way. The asking number is said to be a steepish $95 G's.

A little birdie tells us that original Point staffer Maryellen Owens, since relocated to El-Lay, has nupts in her future.

Andy Magee has been tabbed as head of the Midtown Arts Center, known recently for its "pornographic" portraiture. Controversy — we need more of it!

Memo to Brian McKenna: Scale back the Ric Flair bumper. Too much of a good thing is still too much. And what was with that "Pit" performance on Sports Plus Sunday night? B-Mac wasn't drinking decaf.

By the by, has anyone turned on the AM dial in the last month and not heard Jay Spoonhour?

HIT PARADE TOP SEVEN: In a Nostradamus mood, we present the top seven things that will come true in St. Louis within the next week. As Dave Sinclair might say, "Guaranteed, or your money back."

7. After a 10-minute wait, someone will move to the head of the Ted Drewes line, only to ask, "What flavors of ice cream do you have?"

6. KFNS evening gabbers Rob Fischer and Mike Claiborne will utter the phrase "No question" 14 times in five minutes.

5. A child will flee in terror when con- fronted by the sight of mole rats at the Children's Zoo.

4. The Vipers will not have a home game, though few will notice the fact.

3. Skip Erwin will declare his weekly radio guest a "class act" before ram-

bling into an endless, nonlinear story about an entirely different topic.

2. An older man will buy a younger man a drink at Dapper Dan's before ram-

bling into an endless, nonlinear story about an entirely different topic.

1. Friedman Railroad Salvage will sell many dented cans of off-brand pork and beans.

E-mail tips, quips and rips to Thomas_Crone @rftstl.com.

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