Have You Ever Called in Sick When You Weren't?

Laura Tolley
Inventor, X-Ray-Proof Underpants, Glow-in-the-Dark Dentures, Etc.

"Yes, most of the time I call in sick for mental-health days, but when I do call in I usually give a reason that makes them not want me there, like projectile vomiting, or a disturbing flatulence problem — something undisputable that they're not going to ask for proof and then you can have the whole day off. I'm unemployed now, so go figure."

Ishmael Lateef Ahmad
Senior Reporter, St. Louis American

Laura Tolley
Laura Tolley
Ishmael Lateef Ahmad
Ishmael Lateef Ahmad
Melodi McCraine
Melodi McCraine
Stephanie Glynn
Stephanie Glynn
John Vogel
John Vogel
Karen "Homey" Winkler
Karen "Homey" Winkler

"You're not going to believe this, but I can't remember ever faking it. If I'm sick, I usually come to work and tough it out. Most of my life I've worked jobs where if you didn't come to work, you didn't get paid. Jobs that I like, I don't make up excuses to stay away — and I love journalism."

Melodi McCraine
Office Manager, Meramec Valley Chiropractic

"Yes, I have. Doesn't everybody? Once, I couldn't find the keys to my car, so I called in to say I wasn't feeling well rather than tell the truth, which'd make me look like a blonde."

Stephanie Glynn
Server, Houlihan's

"Yeah, all the time. I tell them the car broke down, or that I sprained my wrist — I'm a server, so that's a good excuse, but you can't use it very often. I said I had diarrhea once, and they didn't ask any questions ... sometimes it just happens and you're not gonna make it in."

John Vogel
Construction

"Oh yes, and there are a few Golden Rules: First, the lie must be believable, and you must believe in the lie. Second, it should also be simple and uncomplicated and, most importantly, not traceable — like the mysterious dead aunt on your mother's side; you need three days to go to the funeral in Sling Blade, Ark. It's so small a town, they don't even have a newspaper for an obituary — it's a sad, sad story."

Karen "Homey" Winkler
Senior Bookseller, B. Dalton

"My friends do it all the time. I only did that once, and it was a struggle for me. I said I had a migraine and couldn't move my head. It turned out to be a complete waste of a day. I probably would have had a better time in the store."

 
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