If You Had to Have Some Disease or Debilitating Condition, Which Would It Be?

Troy Greene
Office Cleaner, St. Louis Post-Dispatch

"Crabs. They're easy to cure, though I'd prefer no diseases whatsoever. All I can say, you take it one day at a time, because you never know what's coming along."

Doug Eller
Program Director, Grace Hill Neighborhood Association

Troy Greene
Troy Greene
Doug Eller
Doug Eller
Susan Ferguson
Susan Ferguson
Booch
Booch
Lady Charles
Lady Charles
Emma
Emma

"Some diseases are not all that bad; they can give you a pleasurable kind of pain or put you in a different time and space where your mind wouldn't otherwise go — you learn to see things. I like the flu, because sometimes I'm so feverish I have the most wonderful dreams. That's why I never get flu shots."

Susan Ferguson
Social Worker, Medium-Security Institution

"Chickenpox. It's itchy, yeah, but so is life. And it goes away on its own — that's the important thing. They got to go away. What'd you think I'd say, cancer? Get real."

Booch
Graphic Artist, Priority One Screen Printing

"I want glaucoma so I can smoke marijuana cigarettes all day, legally. And they come already rolled — tell me that isn't a hook-up. God bless the government."

Lady Charles
Cook, Café Balaban

"I've had most of them: clap, hep and all the childhood diseases. How about one you wouldn't want? The one I wouldn't want is AIDS. It's such a terrible, painful way to go — I'd shoot myself."

Emma
Music Sales

"Disease, huh? Not anything where I have to wear Depends — that'd just make my hips look bigger. And not anything where I'd have to wear a colostomy bag — that'd be kind of weird if I'm on a date. I guess if I had to have a disease, I'd be a klepto, a really good klepto. That way I'm not hurting anybody directly."

 
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