By Lindsay Toler
By Chad Garrison
By Brett Koshkin
By RFT Staff
By Lindsay Toler
By Riverfront Times
By Danny Wicentowski
By Pete Kotz
Bicycle Mechanic, Mesa Cycles
"I'll let them run free in the playroom and make sure they have enough Depends."
Singer, Smash Band/Fluid Drive
"I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. We like to care for our own. If one is sick or hurt, we'll come together as one family. We all just pitch in. To me, family care is better than outside nurses and all that. When you're the caregiver, you know what they need, because you feel for them. The outside person doesn't have the same understanding."
Rapper/Percussion, Jive Turkey
"I would give them the same love and respect that they gave me growing up, and that means not sticking them in a nursing home."
Rock Star on Sabbatical
"Well, they've indicated to me that they'd like to be put on an ice floe and set adrift -- in the Arctic Sea, I think -- but I don't know how I can do a thing like that, mostly because I don't know where I'm going to get the iceberg."
Bartender/Server, Llywelyn's Pub
"Well, you know what? I'd probably pawn them off on my little sister. She's the baby of the family and also my mom's little darling, so she can take care of them. I'll come over on Sundays to take my dad to football games."
"I am looking so forward to torturing my mother. I want to walk by her room and make the comment that it smells, and if she has a pet, like a chihuahua, I'll tell her the dog stinks, too, and give her a hard time like she gave me about the dog I had. I hope to antagonize her to the point of breakdown, and once she breaks down and starts to bawl I'll say, "Well, this is my house -- these are my rules, and if you don't like them, get out.'"