OBVIOUSLY NOT A BREAST MAN

"Radar Station" was shocked -- shocked! -- to read about the -- brace yourselves -- NUDITY that went down at a rap show at Kiel Center last week. Nudity at a rap concert! Nakedness onstage, in front of innocent hardcore rap fans!

Thank the Lord that the Post-Dispatch was there to alert us to the debauchery: As quoteth from Kevin Johnson's review (emphasis ours): "Where does one even begin in discussing what went down at this show? ... One starting point would be the naked woman from the audience who gyrated for a crowd full of youth not legally old enough to watch her.... (She) went completely topless, then down to a g-string. When she began pulling that off, a stage crew member escorted her off stage. This type of display goes over at adult clubs -- but at the Kiel Center? Heads should roll."

He's right: Maybe we should go after Kiel Center's new owners, Bill and Nancy Laurie. Toss 'em in the clink for the bare-breasted antics they're apparently sponsoring in their House of Sodom. It doesn't matter who, but somebody's gotta pay for those dirtypillows bouncing around. A few of the audience members probably went home after the show and committed sodomy, maybe even (gasp) oral sex! Where's Police Chief Henderson when you need him?

Lighten up, Kevin. It's rock & roll. It's supposed to be dangerous. It's our opinion that there's not enough of this kind of behavior at your average Kiel Center show. We'll also wager that, among the "crowd that wasn't discriminating enough" (read: they were having fun), the mammary-fest was a welcome departure from the "production-less show."

For the record, we encourage nudity, both female and male, at rap and rock concerts. We're hoping to see five choreographed free-flying willies at next month's Backstreet Boys concert.

Send all local tapes, tips, discs and detritus to "Radar Station," c/o The Riverfront Times, 6358 Delmar Blvd., Suite 200, St. Louis, MO 63130; e-mail: randall_roberts @rftstl.com.