FLOTSAM & JETSAM

Yes, it is money that matters for the NBA. Like most sports-team owners, NBA owners are venal hyenas who resort to ethical arguments only if they can increase profits. So don't believe alpha hyena David Stern when he talks about honoring the league's commitment to Vancouver. When he says there are "incentives" in the sale to move the team, read that to mean he wants penalties, or disincentives in the sale so that the league gets cash or considerations if the Vancouver Grizzlies are moved. Let's hope Bill Laurie calls Al Davis' lawyer.... For all you viewers who love Peter E. Parisi's World Wide Magazine on public-access television -- and we know there are dozens of you out there -- a raffle is being held to assist the mad genius, who in one classic cable stunt years ago picked up dozens of Suburban Journals from residential lawns and threw them back on the lawn of the newspaper's main office. The raffle will raise cash to help PEP buy better video and editing equipment. The grand prize is a side of beef, which can be distinguished from Parisi because it's the one without a mustache. Tickets, at two for 5 bucks, are on sale at Crown Candy Kitchen at 14th Street and St. Louis Avenue and at Nutwood Publishing Co. and Tettaton Sign Co., 2405 and 2407 N. Broadway, respectively. The winner will be announced at 6:30 a.m. on Saturday, Nov. 20, at Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, 6935 S. Lindbergh Blvd., off Union Road. Side of beef, doughnuts -- obviously nutrition is not a priority. If you want to hear Pete's daily musings, tune in to WEW (770 AM) from 3 p.m. to sign-off, Monday-Friday. For more info on the raffle, call 421-5755.... You know how you can tell Post-Dispatch columnist Greg Freeman is doing research for a future column? He's at the Humane Society, adopting another pet. In Tuesday's column, he eulogized his cat, Maxwell. In a previous dead-cat column, in 1997, Freeman eulogized Bullwinkle. Let's just hope Greg doesn't recruit more felines for the inevitable slow news week.