What Stinks?

Jeff Paszkiewicz
Retail Coordinator, Perry Ellis

"The WWF stinks! They don't wrestle anymore -- they have a soap opera going on with fake marriages, behind-the-scenes fighting in the locker rooms where they're just playing up for the camera -- oh, and they sell stock! What jug-eared doofus is gonna buy stock in the WWF? It's gotten so stupid -- it's all about wrong."

Linda Buchheit
Special-Ed Teacher, Lindbergh High School

"I think it stinks that Andy Kaufman died. He was a creative genius, in my opinion. I loved that bit on SNL when he would play a record and not do anything -- that was hilarious. No one does that anymore. And I wonder about that lounge singer and who Andy Kaufman really was -- did he hide under all those characters; was he a certified raving looney? I wish I'd met him."

Mike Benz
Printer, Benz Presswerks

"Well, what stinks right now is most areas of Fenton, because the river's been down for awhile and you're smelling the mudflats. What did stink, and my dad did this for a shivaree at my brother's wedding, he put a Limburger cheese on the manifold of his old Chevy and as he drove off the thing grilled and it stunk and it stunk and it stunk because he couldn't figure out what it was."

Matthew "Jake" Jacobson
Student/Bartender, Fox Theatre

"What stinks is my hair under the shower head the morning after; homelessness; my eighth-grade teacher's breath, her perpetual coffee-stink -- it was horrid, horrid! Chillicothe, Ohio, and definitely Terre Haute. You know what else really stinks? Faces. That place reeks of funk."

Kate Ostrowski
Early-Childhood Teacher

"When my sister's boyfriend ate too many deviled eggs on Christmas Eve and sat next to me later on, he was so noxious you could practically see the stink lines coming off him like one of those cartoon characters. It was one of those farts where the smell cuts right through you. I was like, "You stink -- get away!' And he knew it; he was smirking."

Brian Rohlfing
Honorary Grand Marshal, International Strange Music Festival, Normal, Ill.

"I had a 1974 Hilux Toyota pickup truck that had the passenger door duct-taped on, it was so bad, and one day some yogurt spilled into the heating vent of the dashboard, and the next day, after it had ripened in the sun, it smelled so bad it'd make a maggot gag. Some things are beyond stink -- they grow their own soul. I ended up giving that truck away to a carpenter."

 
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