Best Bi-State Bus Route

No. 70 Grand

This comes in handy at times, as is evidenced on this Friday-morning ride. There is no disturbance, or even a raised voice, throughout the whole round-trip hour-or-so tour, save for an instance near the London & Sons Wing House at 1311 N. Grand. A gray-haired man sitting just behind the bus driver, wearing a navy-blue sport coat and carrying a cane, gets into a shouted exchange with a woman who has just gotten off the bus. It's hard to hear everything that's said -- even though it's shouted -- much less figure out what the hell has happened, but this much is clear: The woman yells, "Come off that bus and I'll kick your ass." To which the man, who has a bit of a stately though edgy air about him, replies: "I don't want to put my hand on your ugly ass." With that, the bus door closes and Route 70 continues, headed south. As it pulls away, it passes a sign in front of London & Sons on one of those portable signboards. The phrase had been "Try Our Tripe," but somehow the final "e" has disappeared. So it reads: "Try Our Trip." A fitting sign for the Grand, a trip that takes place every weekday, 91 times, for a mere $1.25.

-- D.J. Wilson

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