There'll be a whole mess of spit-swapping at Thursday's DeKuyper Pucker Longest Kiss Challenge at two-step bar Incahoots, out in Earth City. The Cystic Fibrosis Foundation benefit, co-sponsored by KIX 106.5 and DeKuyper brand schnapps, is moving through 20 cities in search of a couple willing to suck face until the sun rises.
The liquor company will donate $100 to the charity for every hour the winning couple maintains osculation, with prizes of $1,000, $500 and $250 to the longest-kissing couples and T-shirts and freebies for all contestants.
According to the event's press release, "kissing do's" for the contest include "touching your partner's face, varying your pace, picking a comfortable stance, being sensitive to your partner's needs, coming up for breath and relaying confidence and sincerity." They make it sound like pitching a baseball game.
"Kissing don'ts" include "keeping your eyes open too long, being sloppy, groping, tensing your lips and scoping the scene during lip-lock." ("For God's sake, Melvin, stop groping me! It's only our first date!")
Leah Furman, co-author with her sister Elina of The Everything Dating Book, officiates at the marathon, which will probably end before the world-record time is reached. Set in 1984, that record left one couple labially locked for 17 days and 11 hours. Breath mint?