How Would You Dispose of a Murdered Body?

Week of November 22, 2000

 Katie Dehart
TWA Data Analyst/Voice of the New Girl Order

"I have two ideas: One, chop it up, wrap it in garbage bags, put those bags in suitcases, check them to different cities on another airline and let them rot in baggage service. Another would be to bring it over to where they're working on the Page extension and dump it where they are going to be pouring concrete the next day. That way I can always think of that person when I'm driving to St. Charles."

Brian Ferguson
Delivery, Mizzou Meats

"Take it to the recycling center. Why not? They recycle everything else these days.'

Brandon Hotz
Drummer, Five Feeler

"Funny, 'cause me and some buddies were talking about this while we were cleaning a pool over the summer, and we thought, why not put the body in the chlorine tank, a big tank of sand and pebbles, and filter it through the system? It's like being sandblasted 24 hours a day. It'd probably take three months, but no one ever looks in there, and you wouldn't smell anything but chlorine. That tank could probably handle multiple dead bodies, just in case you're in a situation where you've got six or seven corpses on your hands."

Fatima Adegboye
Owner, Fatima's Restaurant & Catering

"How would I get rid of him? I would not touch a dead body for my life! After I was through freaking out, I would call the authorities. If the authorities would not come, then I would call the refuse department. It's like when you find a dead dog on the street, you call them to remove it."

Ron Browning-Smith
Investment Banker

"Depends on how much time you have. The first step is to hack it up, and then there are various options, like burning, grinding, acid bath or burying -- small parts in various places. But the hacking is the key, and for that you need a good meat cleaver and a hacksaw, just like you were doing a deer."

 
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