By RFT Music
By Drew Ailes
By Bob McMahon
By Allison Babka
By Kelsey McClure
By Carolina de Busto
By Ben Westhoff and Sarah Purkrabek
By Steve Brennan
Ready to get your fiesta on? You'd better be, because your man R. Kelly is a-comin' to town. Chances are, if you're drunk off in the club, you'll feel his shit. And more than likely, if you're a moneymaking thug, you'll feel his shit. The Windy City's king of R&B schizophrenia is known for jams alternately filthy ("R&B Thug") and redemptive ("I Believe I Can Fly") and pulls off both convincingly. Be ready to see a braided-up, shirtless (we hope) man giving it his all, pumping you full of sonic Viagra one minute and preaching to you the next.Here's hoping that the following happens: Kelly's trademark orchestration is present in one form or another for this show -- be it a full backing band or a stripper clumsily bowing a cello, we don't care. Let's also keep our fingers crossed that the R. takes a cue from fellow chiseled specimen D'Angelo and gives a lengthy, thorough performance.
Here's hoping that the following doesn't happen: A too-generous R.K. gives his rapping buddies too much time to shine (which is to say any time at all), resulting in an onstage shoutfest. Or Seor Kelly spends a little too much time at the aforementioned fiesta (Spanish for "party" -- get it?) and forgets to play somber classics such as "Keep it on the Down Low" (parts 1 and 2, pretty please).
Whatever the case, this show is sure to be as gaudy-funny as it is sweaty-tingly. So rock your most major ice, hop in your Benz and enjoy an evening of modern romance, player-style.