Dumb & Dumber

If they'd sold drugs on a street corner, punishment would have been swift. Instead, they used the Internet -- and the party lasted for years.

Hiding assets was uppermost in Joshua's mind. He hit on a plan to trade BD for gold that could be hidden in safe-deposit boxes. They'd still pay taxes, but they'd declare income on the basis of the face value of $50 coins each containing $320 worth of gold.

"Some of our clients are rich people," Joshua told his mother. "We could trade them an ounce of gold for a two-gallon container. Do you know how much money we could make? Shit, if we did 100 two-gallon orders, we'd have $320,000 worth of gold coins, boom, like that. And then that could be liquidated -- there's no way to get in trouble selling gold and silver." Cassandra agreed that was a good idea and posted a message on the Web site saying Miracle Cleaning Products wanted to buy bullion.

Joshua suggested making sales of state quarters the main focus of the Web site and selling BD as a coin cleaner. He also pondered pitching various other products that would clutter up the site, even if they never sold. That would make the BD less conspicuous. "That's always going to be the big seller -- our established clients will know what they're doing," he told his mother. "It should be hard to find the magic product, man. It should be buried behind a million other things. We'll put an American flag up, maybe, with coins that we sell. We could even sell American flags if we wanted to. We'll be covered, man. If they take us to court and look at our site and they see 'Well, they're selling a bunch of patriotic shit and they're talking about America and keeping America clean,' what's the judge going to say?"

Those plans never came to pass. And for all their talk of gold, the Harveys didn't have the Midas touch. Joshua didn't even know what a Krugerrand was. "Isn't that just a coin from another country?" he asked his mother.

In the end, the Harveys couldn't come up with anything better than stashing money in Cassandra's house. When police broke down her door more than a month after the DEA began seizing shipments, she had $146,000 in cash. The government found nearly $180,000 in various bank and online accounts. Besides the money, the feds seized all the vehicles and Joshua's house. The bounty will be divided between the federal government and the Festus Police Department, with Festus getting 40 percent.

No trial date has been set for Joshua and Cassandra.

Both are undergoing mental evaluations.

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