Now That She's Been Indicted, What Should Be Done With Martha Stewart?

Week of July 9, 2003

 Beth Lewandowski
Lawyer
"See, I was thinking she'd have to wear an electronic ankle bracelet and have to live in Branson where she'd operate a flea market. Also, she'd be required to attend one of those 'Hee Haw' shows each day."

The Whipping Boy
Producer, WWB, Afternoon Drive, The Point 105.7
"Uh, let's see, Martha Stewart...put it this way: I hope she can make a weapon out of soap, because she's gonna need it. And other than that, I think she should be put away, so I hope she can remodel a cell pretty well and find things that match a prison outfit."

Sean Farmer
General Programmer, Iron Jelly
"Well, everybody's looking for some CEO to lynch, but I really don't think she's the worst of them. They'll probably go ahead and lynch her so we'll all feel better about the Enron guys who got away."

Christy Nehring
Librarian, Our Lady of Sorrows Grade School
"First, she has to clean all the commodes in the prison, and then she has to sit and watch those other decorator shows, like Trading Spaces and Christopher Lowell. That would really gall her. And you take away any power in the kitchen -- she's the scullion, not the head cook. Turn it around and make her take some orders."

Art Chandawanich
Owner, Sen Thai-Asian Bistro
"I know she did something wrong and I'd kind of feel bad if she had to go to jail for it. From what I heard, if she admits to it and pays a fine they won't put her in jail, but it's gone this far and she keeps lying about it. I think once people reach that level of success it's hard for them to admit any wrongdoing."

Michael Harmon
Talent Scout
"I don't know -- solitary confinement doesn't require curtains."

 
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