Sometimes, life is not fair. Specifically, from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Saturday, within the confines Jefferson Barracks Park in south St. Louis County (533 Grant Road), life will prove cruelly, callously unfair to those of us over the age of fifteen, because we will not be granted entrance into the dirty, murky, sloppy, oozy nirvana that is the nineteenth annual Mighty Mud Mania Festival.
Run by County Parks and Recreation, the 200-foot-long obstacle course -- very strictly maintained for those between the ages of five and fifteen only -- submits young mucklovers to commando-style crawling, cargo-net climbing, steep ramps and vertical tires, all of it gloriously bathed in dirt goo. Your average kid can tough-it through in about seven minutes flat, according to event coordinator Kyra Kaltenbronn, which is why they're allowed to "call do-over" as many times as they want. (Otherwise the $6 in-advance/$7 at-the-gate admission would seem like a real rip-off, huh?)
Juvenile clean freaks needn't soil their shorts with worry: the event also features ten mudless attractions, including a treasure sand pit, inflatable rides and a DJ with dancing.
More information, directions to Jefferson Barracks Park and downloadable parental permission forms (which every child must present for entry) are available by calling 314-638-2100 or by going online to www.stlouisco.com/parks and clicking on Mud Mania. -- Rose Martelli
Greyhounds are lazy, too
Racers that they are, greyhounds also love to be lazy. Call it going nowhere fast.
"The myth is that they're hyper animals. Not so," says Leann Zalasky, director of Rescued Racers, a non-profit group that seeks homes for the breed. "Greyhounds love to sprawl -- it's the kids that are hyper."
See for yourself at Storytime with Greyhounds, 3:30-4:30 p.m. at Memorial Park in Brentwood, 8600 Strassner Road. Meet dogs who have retired from racing, along with those who were bred for the sport but never competed, while listening to stories read "from their point of view." Then color a picture of greyhounds (who are often not grey). It's free, although donations and adoptions are welcome. Call 314-423-4126 or log on to www.rescuedracers.com to learn more. -- Thomas R. Raber