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Tuesday, August 12The image of World Wrestling Entertainment's costumed pugilists calmly reading to children is jarring, but that's exactly what the WWE Get R.E.A.L: Read! program entails. Two wrestlers descend upon the Carpenter Branch of St. Louis Public Library (3309 South Grand Avenue, 314-772-6586) at 11 a.m. to impart the core values of Respect, Education, Achievement and Leadership by reading to the kids. Literacy and self-esteem-building are great causes, and the wrestlers who take time out of their busy schedules to encourage kids are undoubtedly great guys (or ladies; WWE did not specify which wrestlers would be reading). But the thought of, say, the Undertaker sitting cross-legged on the floor, surrounded by kids, while he morbidly intones the immortal lines: "I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them," (growled at the nearest child), "SAM I AM!" is both bizarre and compelling. The event is free, and absolutely no autographs will be given.

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