Think about all the entertainment you've seen on the field at Cardinals' games that wasn't baseball -- high-school marching bands having their moment in the sun, kids running the bases, Mark McGwire being driven around in that red Corvette convertible after he hit Number 62 and ol' Gussie Bush on the beer wagon, pulled by Clydesdales. Anything at Busch that doesn't involve balls and strikes can seem odd -- a strange break from the inning-to-inning, ever-flowing river of baseball.
And so it will be unusual when hundreds of fourth-through-eighth-grade girls take the field at Busch Stadium (Walnut Street at Broadway) before the 3:10 p.m. game against the Reds for an interpretive dance. They will have been coached by the "Fredbird Dancers" at the nearby Millennium Hotel (200 South Fourth Street) at a 10 a.m. dance clinic ($55 includes lunch, two game tickets and a T-shirt; 314-516-0412).
Maybe our own Harpo Marx, Fredbird, will upset the girls' routine by rubbing his foam butt up against some poor dancer or running away with her baton. It's only funny until someone cries, Fredbird. Then again, the Cardinals' mascot need only clamp his giant yellow beak around the head of an unsuspecting fan or player, and -- poof! -- instant, undeniable physical comedy. Until Fredbird's convicted of running a meth lab or secretly rooting for the Mets, he's cool by us. -- Byron Kerman
If you're one of those people who likes beer, guns and other people's stuff, you'll be getting home from the bars at about six in the morning Saturday, wondering how best to delay that hangover for another couple hours.
What if we told you that instead of racing down the back roads, choking down warm Bud, blowing holes in street signs and eyeing easements for discarded lawn furniture, you could have a smorgasbord of similar fun in the safe, air-conditioned confines of VFW Post 4223 (7 a.m.-4 p.m., 215 Military at Lemay Ferry roads, 314-892-3826)? Okay, you'd probably say that the Lemay 5-0 was having a fugitive sting, but you'd be wrong. In truth, it's time for the St. Louis Area Veterans Consortium flea market and BB gun shoot (vendor tables are $10, targets go for $2 and admission is free). Lock and load up. -- Tom R. Arterburn