Fierce Scrums, Dirty Bums

SAT 10/25

Football is for wusses. Not only was the American pastime derived from its superior predecessor, rubgy, but additions like forward passing, pads, helmets and nut cups have diluted it to, comparatively, croquet-level ferocity. And while football players need 30 seconds or so between plays to catch their breath, in rugby the action almost never stops.

If your blood runs yellow, however, and watching rugby sounds like a lot more fun than playing it, you have a chance this Saturday to see the best tacklers in Missouri exchange fluids at the Missouri Rugby Men's Championships. The pack is led by the St. Louis Bombers, reigning Western Region champions. The winner will head to Fort Worth, Texas, for further brutality.

The bloodletting is free and takes place at the central playing fields in Forest Park next to the Jewel Box. The Division B championship is at noon and the Division A championship starts at 1 p.m. For more information call 314-852-BOMB or go to www.stlouisbombers.com. -- Ben Westhoff

Don't Fear the Jogger

SAT 10/25

The joys of Halloween fade as you age; at 32, that Green Lantern costume looks a little creepy as you rake leaves in the autumnal twilight. But this year you and all the other "adults" who love to dress up for the season have an opportunity to don costumes and contribute to a good cause. Run For Your Life!, a 5K race/1-mile walk through Tower Grove Park (Tower Grove at Magnolia Avenues at 11 a.m.; www.alsrun.org), requires all entrants to wear their Halloween finest while they raise money for the ALS/Lou Gehrig's Disease Foundation. You can dress as a sexy disco Wolfman or a hairy Wonder Woman and then run willy-nilly through the park, certain that your $20-$24 entry fee is helping someone sicker than you. -- Paul Friswold

Whither Slobo?
Ain't no stoppin' the Steamers now

SAT 10/25

The public's undying thirst for all things '80s isn't just confined to music and fashion: the St. Louis Steamers return tonight for their first season in the revived Major Indoor Soccer League. Their opponents are the hated Kansas City Comets, and the good guys are led by ageless player/coach Daryl Doran. True to Steamers tradition, locally produced players will play a central role. "A guy I was happy to pick up late was [former St. Louis University star] Jason Cole," Doran says. "This guy's just a pure athlete, period. D.J. Newsom's a good stocky defender, one of my best. And Ryan Ferguson is this kid we got through open tryouts who used to play at CBC." If names like Jeff Cacciatore and Don Ebert mean anything to you, now's your chance to see their modern-day counterparts (7 p.m., Family Arena, 2002 South River Road in St. Charles, $7-$15, 314-534-1111, www.stlsteamers.com). -- Jason Toon