Damn Tall

Unreal chats with some lovely ladies and gets the scoop from Jay Farrar-endorsed candidate Mark Smith (who's perfectly lovely too); plus, Bill Haas gets a love letter and Unreal heads to court

Before becoming the resident sports babe on Best Damn Sports Show Period, 31-year-old Leeann Tweeden was a Hooters calendar girl and a Frederick's of Hollywood underwear model. Before finishing runner-up in the Miss Tall International competition, 24-year-old social worker Bethany Boogerd was simply Miss Tall St. Louis. Unreal recently met with both of these internationally known sex symbols and came away with very different impressions of each lady.

Unreal: What's your ethnic background?

Leeann: My mother's Filipino and Spanish, and my dad's Norwegian.

Bethany: My dad's Dutch, and my mom is a mixture of a lot of central European countries like England.

Do you go to tanning booths?

Leeann: Oh God, no! I hide from the sun. I wear [SPF] 50 sunblock all the time.

Bethany: No, I don't. I tan fairly easily, and I figure if I'm going to get skin cancer I might as well enjoy being out in the sun and not be stuck in a booth.

What do you think about all that cosmetic surgery, Botox, making yourself taller by using extra insoles and stuff like that?

Leeann: You know, I think if people want to do it...to each his own.

Bethany: Why not? Everybody has something they don't like about themselves, and I guess if you're satisfied with changing that, then it's okay.

How come you haven't been inMaxim or anything like that?

Leeann: I have been. I've been in Maxim; I've been on the cover of FHM.I'm on the cover of Complex magazine right now.

Bethany: I don't think that would be very good for my image as a social worker.

Tell us about your celebrity boyfriend.

Leeann: It's Josh Beckett, who pitches for the Florida Marlins. I always thought he was pretty damn hot. I'm mostly either where he's at, or in Miami when I can.

Bethany: None currently. I'm supposed to be single during my reign anyways. I can't get married because then I would be a 'Mrs.', and that wouldn't go over very well.

Who do you think is going to win the National League pennant this year?

Leeann: Um, I'd like to say the Florida Marlins, but they're not that good right now. The Cardinals are pretty damn strong; they're busting up on the Cubbies. I don't know about going all the way to the World Series, but I think they'll be in the hunt.

Bethany: The what? I hope the Cardinals.

Who do you think is the best-looking player on the Cardinals?

Leeann: [Long pause] I think Albert [Pujols] is pretty good looking. He's got the perfect nose, and the perfect lips, you know what I mean. He's kind of got the tan skin. Jim Edmonds is a pretty good-looking guy too.

Bethany: I haven't been to enough games this year to check out all the players.

Who do you think is the best-looking female athlete?

Leeann: That new Sharapova girl is pretty hot. She's pretty damn hot.

Bethany: I don't know. I don't usually sit around thinking about the best-looking female athlete.

So, how do you like John Edwards as a vice-presidential pick?

Leeann: Well, I'm not a Democrat, let's put it that way. He doesn't have a lot of background and a lot of experience, but I think he'd be all right. I think I'd like him better than I'd like Kerry. I think he was actually smart instead of picking Gephardt.

Bethany: Anyone but Bush.

How do you react when guys really aggressively hit on you?

Leeann: I put them in their place! And it's not all the time. It's not as much as you think. I heard Elle MacPherson say once that guys never hit on her, and I was like, 'Yeah, right!' But it's true. Guys are either intimidated or don't come up and talk to you, or the guys that do are like the idiots who drop stupid lines on you. And I can be a bitch.

Bethany: I usually try to remove myself from the situation.

Bill Me

As someone who has had a crush (from afar) on you since the days when you used to run for mayor (will you run again?), I'm always pleased to read your musings on love and lust in the Unreal column. You seem like a decent fella with a healthy attitude toward women and sex. So what does Bill look for in a woman/relationship? Write sort of a "personals ad" on yourself.
Bill Me!

Since my first mayor's race in 1992-93? How sweet. Having a crush should be a great blessing for you and a great honor for me, but that's a long time to wait unrequited. I feel your pain and may be able to help. I've written ads before, which were somewhat playful, but this will be more serious. Here goes:

"SWPM, 6-foot, 180 lbs., ageless, petty, shallow, whiny, petulant, too quick to judge, occasionally mean-spirited, messy apartment and life, seeks pretty (inside and out -- inside is better and lasts longer in a relationship, but both are nice) woman who thinks above qualities are outweighed by my being smart, athletic, not boring, affectionate, passionate, loyal, knowing right from wrong and trying to do it even when it's not easy. Must have a good heart and good hair, and though her dreams are unfulfilled they are still intact -- for love forever.

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