News to Muse

The Year in Review: A Quiz

c) Turkey and potatoes au gratin.

d) Fried chicken and mashed potatoes.

62. What was Ricky Clemons allegedly given by a coach that resulted in NCAA penalties?

Mike Gorman
Mike Gorman

a) A new ATV.

b) $250.

c) $3,000.

d) The unlisted phone number of University of Missouri-Columbia athletic director Ed Stewart's wife, Amy.

63. Why was Rams cornerback Travis Fisher sued this year?

a) For allegedly canceling a check for an ex-girlfriend's abortion.

b) For an alleged hit-and-run in front of Mike Shannon's downtown restaurant.

c) For reneging on a sponsorship deal with Dirt Cheap Liquors.

d) For back taxes.

64. What illness sent John Ashcroft to the emergency room?

a) Patriotic cancer.

b) Gallstone pancreatitis.

c) Acute satanic possession.

d) Boogie fever.

65. Researchers at Washington University's Genome Sequencing Center sequenced the genome of which animal this year?

a) The red jungle fowl.

b) The nematode worm.

c) The great Dane.

d) The Ozark hellbender.

66. Which was not a new Anheuser-Busch product in 2004?

a) Bacardi Silver.

b) B-to-the-E.

c) Boo-Yaa Ultra.

d) A-B World Select.

67. Who is Elena Martinez?

a) Gretchen Wilson's Hispanic half-sister.

b) Paige Laurie's roommate who did all of her homework at the University of Southern California.

c) A local American Idol contestant.

d) A Washington University law-school graduate who's now assistant to U.S. Attorney General nominee Alberto Gonzales.

68. Cory Spinks is the son of Michael Spinks.

a) True.

b) False.

69. Which line does St. Louis clothing manufacturer Kellwood make?

a) Phat Farm.

b) Ralph Lauren.

c) Sean John.

d) Karl Lagerfeld's H&M line.

70. Who is Eric Yoder?

a) A former Wash. U. law student who's now assistant to U.S. Attorney General nominee Alberto Gonzales.

b) A local author who advocates minimizing reliance on technology.

c) A local yoga instructor accused of preying on his students.

d) A SLU graduate who competed on American Idol.

71. What is the fastest-growing county in the St. Louis area?

a) Lincoln County.

b) St. Charles County.

c) St. Louis County.

d) Madison County, Illinois.

72. How did state House Majority Leader Jason Crowell respond to criticism from Democratic representative Rick Johnson during a budget meeting?

a) He wagged his finger threateningly.

b) He prayed aloud that the representative burn in Hell.

c) He spit into the microphone.

d) He threw a book at him.

73. What was Mid-Missouri Wrestling Association heavyweight wrestling champion Gorgeous Gary Jackson's persona before he adopted the "Gorgeous" moniker?

a) Gracious Gary Jackson.

b) Nite Train.

c) Pipe-Hittin' Motherfucker.

d) The Ass Ranger.

74. Why was WGNU talk show host Lizz Brown stuck in Ghana?

a) Her engaging theories on racism riveted locals, who forbade her from leaving.

b) A Ghanaian caller threatened to blow up the plane.

c) School-board member Vince Schoemehl had her put on a terrorist-watch list.

d) Her airline was grounded due to safety concerns.

75. Which retail store does the May Company not own?

a) Famous Barr.

b) Marshall Fields.

c) Saks Fifth Avenue.

d) Lord and Taylor.

76. What were the last words of Post-Dispatch columnist Jerry Berger in his final column?

a) "Do I still get free meals?"

b) "See you around, babe."

c) "A special thanks to all the busboys out there!"

d) "Thank you and goodbye!"

77. What is the name of St. Louis's premier crime tabloid?

a) The Daily Menace.

b) The Evening Whirl.

c) Sauce.

d) The Globe-Democrat.

78. Who threw out the first pitch this year at the Cardinals opener?

a) President Bush.

b) Jonathan Franzen.

c) John Kerry.

d) Cedric the Entertainer.

79. Which artist did not sing during the St. Louis games of the World Series?

a) Martina McBride.

b) Nelly.

c) Gretchen Wilson.

d) Scott Stapp.

80. What film is not a creation of local screenwriter James Gunn?

a) Dawn of the Dead 2004.

b) Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed.

c) Scooby Doo.

d) Garfield: The Movie.

81. "Heck, we paid the guy $11 million last year. You'd think he could keep his mouth shut." To what was this anonymous official referring?

a) Nelly's criticism of the corporate decision-makers.

b) Kurt Warner's leak of his impending move to the New York Giants.

c) Dick Fleming's RCGA payroll.

d) Albert Pujols.

82. Who produced Chingy?

a) The Track Starz.

b) The Track Vandalz.

c) The Track Boyz.

d) The Track Markz.

83. How did Boeing consultant and aviation enthusiast John Mullen die?

a) Attempted to parachute onto the Arch and slid down the side.

b) Dioxin poisoning.

c) Arsenic poisoning.

d) Electric chair.

84. Why did Fair St. Louis cancel an Independence Day performance by Smash Mouth?

a) Their music is ill-conceived and bland.

b) They spoke ill of sponsor Enterprise Rent-A-Car onstage.

c) Their songs are licensed for Miller Beer commercials, which upset sponsor Budweiser.

d) They were deemed too "extreme" for the Fair St. Louis crowd.

85. What is the new name of the University of Missouri basketball arena?

a) Blandest Name Possible Arena.

b) Busch Stadium.

c) Elena Arena.

d) Mizzou Arena.

86. Why was St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Julian Tavarez suspended for ten days this season?

a) The umpire found pine tar on his cap.

b) His potty mouth.

c) He threw a chair at a Cubs fan.

d) Tony LaRussa punished him for punching a locker.

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