By Roy Kasten
By Kris Wernowsky
By Chaz Kangas
By Joseph Hess
By Julie Seabaugh
By Mike Appelstein
By Rachel Brodsky
By Kelsey McClure
There are no winners here. The lawsuit's allegations add an entirely ominous meaning to Snoop's recent song "Can I Get a Flicc Witchu," not to mention his earlier hit "Ain't No Fun (If the Homies Can't Have None)." Even if the sex-crime allegations are baseless, a media feeding frenzy could put Snoop in the notorious company of Mike Tyson, Kobe Bryant, O.J. Simpson and Michael Jackson. And if the woman wins her suit, Snoop will definitely "pay the cost to be the boss."
But what could really make the shizzle hit the fizzle is the fact that Jimmy Kimmel's talk show runs on ABC, which is owned by Disney, that progenitor of fine family-oriented fare. Hmm. Didn't know Mickey Mouse was down with cocaine, blunts, Champagne knockout drops and gang rapes, did you?
Paying out hush money to cover up a sexual assault behind closed doors at a major media corporation seems more like a General Hospital plot line than a real-life occurrence. What's next? Scott Peterson starring in an ABC After School Special? -- Erik K. Arnold
Local quartet Team Tomato has just returned triumphant from the DIY Convention, where its offbeat pop record Words and Skins and Bones was awarded Album of the Year. This was a trip filled with the high of playing with Guided by Voices guitarist Doug Gillard and the low of having all their gear stolen. Seeing as how Brian Wiegert (vocals/guitar), Jordan Ross (bass/ vocals), Eric Clay (guitar/vocals) and Luis Actis (drums) are so self-reliant, I decided to let them interview themselves about their trip.
Us: Ok, dudes, we're here interviewing ourselves.
So, how was LA and shit?
Pretty good. We did a lot of things ourselves, like drive around and pay for food and gas and flights and lodging, and we went to a strip club and were all like, "Heyyyy," but she was all, "Uh-uh, do it yourself."
Sounds pretty sweet -- so what mega-celebs did you party with?
Only Judd Nelson, but he parties weird, so we split.
Didn't you play with Doug Gillard [of Guided by Voices] on Thursday?
That we did! Then he came to check us out again on Saturday and couldn't have been nicer. His new CD rules. It didn't win 2005 DIY Album of the Year like ours did, but it still rules.
So were you all scared like little girls to go out to LA and play for industry types and jaded musical assholes?
Shit no! We didn't even lose our cool when our equipment got stolen -- we just went out and played three kick-ass rock shows -- and we weren't even drunk for two of them!
Yeah, we didn't like our equipment anyway!
So, real quick: four best and worst things about LA and DIY.
Best: doing it ourselves, rocking out, sushi mac, Francine Dancer. Worst: having to share a bed with another dude, stuck in LA traffic, Eric's farts, thieves.
OK, well, that's about all -- what's next for ourselves?
Other people doing shit for us, hopefully! -- Jordan Harper