My Sweet Lore

Oh, those wacky Final Four campuses!

University of North Carolina

If history is any indication, St. Louis may prove a favorable locale for the Tar Heels of UNC. The school's previous two national championships ('82 and '93) came in New Orleans, and both times legendary coach Dean Smith spit into the Mississippi River before the final game. Roy Williams would be well advised to follow his predecessor's lead and toss a loogie for good luck.

The Tar Heels boast a history rich in college-basketball lore, having produced the game's best player, Michael Jordan. Other famous alums: soccer phenom Mia Hamm, 'roid runner Marion Jones, Civil War historian Shelby Foote, ESPN broadcaster Stuart Scott, VP also-ran John Edwards and good ol' Andy Griffith.

Before he started gobbling Aunt Bea's pies, Andy's 
stomping ground was Chapel Hill.
Before he started gobbling Aunt Bea's pies, Andy's stomping ground was Chapel Hill.
During Hef's undergrad days, they were the "I'd rather 
be fucking than fighting" Illini.
During Hef's undergrad days, they were the "I'd rather be fucking than fighting" Illini.

While Chapel Hill might not be Mayberry, it's still oozing with genteel Southern grace. Like the traditions of setting fire to Franklin Street after a Tar Heel victory, peeing in the Old Well (which freshmen are told to drink out of to ensure good grades) and fornicating on the eighth floor of the Davis Library at least once before graduating.

A dubious tradition the school has yet to shake is its history of racism. Just last semester the chancellor eliminated an award honoring women's contributions to the university when it was discovered that the woman for whom the award was named was a white supremacist. Now the school is looking into the names of of its campus buildings, many of which are named after slave owners and Confederate sympathizers. Then again, what would you expect when the sports teams take their name from the proud North Carolina soldiers whose dedication to Southern ideals would not allow them to retreat from the advancing Union Army? According to lore, the soldiers' courage spurred their compatriots from other states to ask, "What, y'all got tar on yer heels?"

To which they responded, "Nah, we just stepped in shit." (Chad Garrison)

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