Stoopers

Unreal stands up for stooping and encounters a local blogger who only has eyes for the Tampon Fairy. Plus, in a shocking move not seen since the Mesozoic era, the Mississippi River leaves St. Louis!

"We've grown accustomed to losing Fortune 500 companies, but to think we'd lose our river too? Not even a clairvoyant could have predicted that," said Dick Fleming, president of the St. Louis Regional Chamber and Growth Association.

Standing in the riverbed below Eads Bridge, Mayor Francis Slay attempted to cast a silver lining over the brown and muddy tableau that stretched as far as the eye could see.

"We had really counted on the river cooperating with our revitalization of the riverfront," said Slay. "Oh, look! There's that fishing lure I lost!"

Officials in the Illinois, meanwhile, expressed optimism that the river could bring much-needed tourism dollars to the region, with many of the towns finally living up to their name.

"Venice looks like Venice," boasted Madison County Board Chairman Alan Dunstan. "Pontoon Beach has a beach!"

LOCAL BLOG O' THE WEEK

"Camel Tot"

cameltot.blogspot.com

Author: Camel Tot

About the blogger: In her own words: "a minor -- a smart kid that makes dumb mistakes -- a skipper (just once) -- a virgin until marriage (contrary to popular belief) -- a good girl (for the most part) -- unique -- untrusted I have nothing to prove to anyone reading this, or my computer. In the end, only God can judge me."

Recent Highlight (April 3, 2005): I know you all are wondering "who the %*$# is the Tampon Fairy" Well I shall tell you =D

Hes my boyfriend of 6 months. We went out once before, but I got mad, and made a UH OH! We went out 7 months that time. I felt so bad... I was just in a bad mood, parents going through divorce, and I was locking it all up inside. = (

Everyone thinks we are PERFEKT for eachother =) and...well...I agree! We share so many interests and I love him very much. He is SO smart, but wastes it. His schooling is doing better now. His mom isn't always....there....ya know? It happens, but I still love her just the same, and I know he does too. Even though he wants to keep all of his hatred in, I can see it. Its like a funeral smile on his face. But, hes a guy right...is it just me or do almost all guys try to be emotionless? But I know him better than that; we talk. I'm so sensitive, and hes always there. Making me feel so much better. The other day I was in tears, which is unusual for him. I try not to be THAT emotional, but I am. He is so understanding. Hes knows that I sometimes cry myself to sleep at night. Sometimes I sit in my room alone, writing, or staring at the wall. Why? I don't know. I think I want to go back to counselling. My doctor there made me more....in touch with who I am, just as TF does.

I love you TF.

Know of an Unreal-worthy local blog? Send the URL to unreal@riverfronttimes.com.

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