Sea Changes

The Post goes pirate, our talking billboards return in a big, nerdy way, and a local blogger condemns snobby metrosexuals. Plus, Unreal asks the question on everyone's mind: "Is white trash deserving of nannies?"

Recent Highlight (May 11, 2005):I recognized something about myself today. About a month ago my office hired a loud shirt + pin stripped pants wearing meterosexual. What's more, he's pretty much the only other single guy in my area -- competition. I've disliked this guy from the start but I wasn't really sure why, until today. At first I thought it was his aggressive posturing via various bold pink and purple button downs in order to get the ladies' attention. Yes, his heightened sense of fashion and acceptance of bold colors is intimidating to a fashion novice such as myself, but what puts it over the top is he never talks to anyone and wont say "hi" to anyone. And I just think that's a shitty combo.

There, I've said it.

And I'm no meterophobe. We have another guy who is also pretty metero. To me he's just like the black doctor Miranda from "Sex and the City" was dating. This guy could have been a model or something -- he's one of those beautiful people -- and he's very stylish. But, he talks to people. When he passes someone in the hall he says "hi". It makes me feel good that such a beautiful human would even acknowledge me. What's more, he he seems happy to do so. But that other metero...well, he's just an ass. And don't tell me he's too shy or new to say hi. First, he's been here a month. Second, who wears looks like they just feel out of an Urban Outfitters catalogue AND is shy? I don't buy that. He just thinks he's too cool for school around here.

Know of an Unreal-worthy local blog? Send the URL to unreal@riverfronttimes.com.

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