We've said it before, and we'll say it again: Evel Knievel for president. The last of the gladiators is pure America, as is amply demonstrated in the pseudo-hagiographic film Viva Knievel. Watch Evel woo a feisty female reporter! Cry as he reunites a recovering alcoholic father (played by Gene freakin' Kelly!) with his estranged son! Tremble as a Mexican drug cartel (masterminded by Leslie Nielsen!) plots his death! Cheer as Evel leaps his motorcycle over various objects (thin air, hungry lions, cars, the Milky Way!). And he can pronounce "nuclear," too! Jump on the bandwagon (or over it, if suitably inspired) at 8 p.m. at Schlafly Bottleworks (7260 Southwest Boulevard, Maplewood; 314-968-7487 for information). Admission is $4, and Schlafly has been known to sell the occasional beer to moviegoers (Evel would approve).
Thursday, July 7
Sadly, you're not much of an artist anymore. Sure, you still doodle an errant bunny rabbit here or a random unicorn there, but you haven't really made time for your art. It's been quietly pushed out of your life like so many Saved by the Bell episodes from your youth, but now it's time to reclaim some of your past talent: It's time to go to a grown-up sketch group. Head to the St. Louis Artists' Guild (2 Oak Knoll Park, Clayton) for the Thursday Afternoon Drawing Group (from noon to 3 p.m.; 636-256-7703) or the Thursday Night Sketch Group (from 6:30 to 9:30 p.m.; 314-726-6494). All experience levels are welcome at the groups (whew), which are held in the third-floor studio. March on up there with your $6 in hand, and prepare yourself to draw like you haven't in so, so long. And also note: You won't be sketching any of your typical stuff (not that there's anything wrong with mythical creatures); you'll get to hone your skills while drawing a live model (who may or may not be clothed). For more information on these or the Guild's other art groups, visit www.stlouisartistsguild.org.
Friday, July 8
Even though you try to be humble, it's clear that nobility is not something you're lacking. You pick up after your dog; heck, you pick up after other people's dogs. You hold the door for folks, and you're always careful to say "please" and "thank you" and use your turn signals. And because of all your greatness, we know you'll be first in line at the all-ages Whats Up Magazine Fundraiser and Relaunch Party, happening at 9 p.m. at Radio Cherokee (3227 Cherokee Street; www.radiocherokee.net). Sure, DJ Trackstar and Honors English are going to be performing, which will definitely be great, but you can also get the newest issue of the magazine, which focuses on problems faced by the homeless (and is, in fact, distributed by homeless people working to change their lives). Yay! The party is free, but there's no sense in us telling you that -- you're already going to donate as much money as you can afford to help this good cause continue putting out magazines. So yay for you, too! For more information about Whats Up, visit www.whatsupstl.com or call 314-241-7744.
Saturday, July 9
Sometimes Saturdays are lazy, hang-out-at-the-farm kind of days, so if today turns out to be that kind of day for you, head to Suson Park (6073 Wells Road; 314-894-3089 or www.stlouisco.com/parks) for its Bluegrass Concert at the Farm. This show, held from 7 to 9 p.m., features the bluesy and grassy sounds of George Portz & the Friends of Bluegrass, who play (you guessed it) down by the park's barns. So go, bring a lawn chair, and enjoy the music with the animals; your admission is $5 (the barn animals, and children eleven and younger, get to enjoy the entertainment for free -- old-fashioned favoritism if you ask us).
Sunday, July 10
Cahokia Mounds offers more than just some old hills and the elegant gyre of Woodhenge to mark the presence of the Mississipian people; the site also hosts an annual Contemporary Indian Art Show that represents the best work of modern Native Americans. More than 30 artists working in painting, carving, ceramics, jewelry and fiber arts create striking new works that represent both the traditional ways and the contemporary world. The show, which is held in the Cahokia Mounds Interpretive Center (30 Ramey Street and Collinsville Road, Collinsville, Illinois; 618-346-5160 or www.cahokiamounds.org) from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Saturday and Sunday (July 9 and 10), offers free admission both days.
Monday, July 11
The U. City Starlight Concert Series kicks off in a big way this evening. The free concert series opens not just with the classic Motown sounds of Velvet, but with a rare appearance by the famous City Hall searchlight. Velvet begins cranking out the beloved Motown classics of the '60s and '70s at 7 p.m. at Heman Park (7210 Olive Boulevard, University City; 314-862-6767, extension 386 or www.ucitymo.org), and once the crowd is all warmed up, the big light makes its appearance for one hour starting at 8:45 p.m. As with all performances in the U. City Starlight Series, you're more than welcome to bring lawn chairs and blankets, but no glass bottles. Food and beverages are available for a modest fee, or you can bring your own. What goes well with Motown and searchlights? Oreos. They're very classy cookies.