Roll Out the Barrel

Strassenfest is a barrel of laughs

Mr. Night and Ms. Day are big fans of Germany. How big? Sehr gröss, Herr Kommissar. So gröss, in fact, that we have been planning our trip to Strassenfest since last year's Strassenfest wrapped up. And we have determined that in order to fully enjoy the 'fest, you must combine events so as to cram the greatest possible amount of fun into the limited time. And so, as we don our lederhosen and dirndl (respectively), you'll want to memorize this list pairing Strassenfest food and Strassenfest carnival ride with the appropriate Einstürzende Neubauten song (the German industrial pioneers-turned-pop balladeers are Mr. Night's favorite German band).

Ride: Merry-go-round

Food: Strudel. Or Sno-Cone. "You want something fun and childlike, like a dessert," says Ms. Day.

Dan Zettwoch

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EN Song: "Z.N.S." Mr. Night believes the circular riff meshes nicely with the merry-go-round.

Ride: Chair swing

Food: Pretzel. It's the only food that is its own handle.

EN Song: "Nnnaaammm." The onomatopoeia of the title (simulating a car racing by) goes well with the spinning ride.

Ride: Scrambler.

Food: Bratwurst, or the roasted ear of corn. "One-handed," notes Ms. Day. "You need a one-handed food, so you have a free hand to prevent smashing into your companion on the out-swing."

EN Song: "Letztes Biest (am Himmel)." "The chorus to this spooky romantic song is 'hold me tight,'" says Mr. Night, which is good advice for you and your bratwurst on the Scrambler.

Ride: Rock-O-Plane

Food: Jägermeister. "At this point you've had enough to eat, and it's time to hit the hard stuff," reasons Ms. Day. Also, if you ride the Rock-O-Plane properly, you'll be puking when it's over -- the same goes for if you drink Jägermeister properly.

EN Song: "Headcleaner." It's an accurate description of what both the ride and the drink do to people.

Strassenfest runs Friday through Sunday (August 5 through 7) in Memorial Park (North Tucker Boulevard and Market Street; 636-225-1730 or www.strassenfest.org). The fest opens at 11 a.m. all three days, and admission is free. Einstürzende Neubauten will not be playing this year, but Jake's Leg, the Deutschmeister Brass Band, the Bottle Rockets and Charlie Block & the Bavarians will be entertaining throughout the weekend. There's also a children's area (with petting zoo) and a genealogical research booth on site. -- Herr Nacht Und Fraulein Tag

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