Beer Nazis

A vomiting A-B eagle and tales of AA misconduct are almost enough to put Unreal off the sauce (almost). Plus, two local kids kick Pokémon butt.

They Are the Champions
Jill and Ben Dufour can play Pokémon like nobody's business. They kicked ass and took names at two recent tournaments in suburban Chicago, with seven-year-old Jill earning a trip to the upcoming national championships in Columbus, Ohio, and nine-year-old Ben pocketing a $750 college scholarship.

Their mom hooked us up with an exclusive phone interview from their house in O'Fallon so we could ask them what the heck Pokémon is.

Unreal: What is Pokémon?

Jill Dufour: You have to know how to read and do math. You have to read the card and then add the 60 damage plus 30 more damage if your opponent has a stadium card, so that's 90 damage for certain cards. I first starting playing when I was three. My favorite card is EeVee because she's cute, and white is one of my favorite colors. She's white and brown. It's fun to play because you get prizes no matter if you win or lose. And when you buy a box, which is 36 packs, you're pretty much guaranteed to get two EX's and maybe one Shiny. A Shiny can be more powerful than a regular card. It's rarer, maybe has higher hit points, and probably can attack better. I've made friends playing Pokémon.

Ben Dufour: I like playing it because you can win scholarship money for college, and it's fun. I've made a lot of friends, because when you battle, you sometimes get into conversation. I don't really have just one favorite, I like a lot of cards. Manectric, maybe. I don't play it at school, because I kind of like playing basketball at recess.

Local Blog O' the Week
"The Mayor of Affton"
Author: J. Patrick O'Brien
About the blogger: O'Brien is a 32-year-old father of two, works at a "fine university" and calls himself Affton's "(un)Official Mayor."

Recent Highlight (April 11): Your Mayor traveled extensively in his life however, loves to meet people from other lands, and supports a very liberal immigration policy on the whole. To those who oppose this, I offer travel photos of places like western Kansas where there is so much damn space with nothing there but sunflowers. Clearly this land is very useable for a community. Although it is land out of my jurisdiction, I think that fans of sunflowers or sunflower seeds are the only potential opposition. In the event of a shortage of the snack, I propose that people switch to Big League Chew which also comes in a pouch and is fun to eat and involves less spitting in public. Although the gum does not yet come in Jalapeno or Ranch flavors, I'm sure we could work it out. In fact, it's probably as inevitable as Diet Coke with Bacon.

Anyway, my experiences with local immigrants have ALWAYS been positive. Affton is home to a growing population of Bosnians that are climbing the economic ladder. As a result, they are investing in local real estate, pimping their rides and spending money locally. My only complaint is that their voter turnout is very, very low. I think that if we can overcome our fear of them and welcome them to Affton, they will begin to creep out of their shells and get involved in civics, PTA meetings and the planning of the Affton Days festival.

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