Maggots! Corpses! Fast-food scams! A forensic entomologist's work is never done. Plus, a "cure" for hangovers and a dock for sale.

But the dock has to be worth something. Why give it away?

'Cause I need to get rid of it right away. If someone wants to pay me for it, I'll take the money. But I'm having a hard enough time trying to give it away.

Tell us a little bit about the dock. Would our 58-foot Scarab fit in your slip?

Dan Zettwoch

Not so well. It's nineteen feet long. A fishing boat works.

Any thoughts of just towing the dock to Party Cove and setting up shop there for the summer?

That would be cool with me. If you want to do that, it's got your name on it.

Have you gotten any other calls?

A few, but nothing serious. I had it on eBay for a few days, too. I'll tell you what, if someone doesn't get it soon, I'm going to take the Sawzall to it.

From time to time Unreal trolls the St. Louis Post-Dispatch classified section's "Bargain Box." We cannot guarantee any item remains available for purchase at press time.

Local Blog O' the Week

"The Summer of Benny Blog"
Author: Benny
About the blogger: Benny recently lost his job. This summer he's simultaneously searching for his dream job and "reliving my youth."

Recent Highlight (May 25): I got a job offer today and when I asked the possible start date, I was told, "When you are ready to give us 100% effort." I am interested in the job but I don't think I've ever given 100% effort on anything. Unless you count the ponies.

After my job interview, I went to the pool loaded with a cooler full of Bud Light. I spent the afternoon drinking, listening to 80's music, and peeing in the pool. As I relaxed in the water, someone inquired about the water temperate. I replied that it was 98.6 degrees around me. They changed their minds about swimming and left.

Around 7:30, I went to Ozzie's with Isaac and Stacy. Isaac is a huge Detroit Pistons fan. I think the NBA is nothing more than carjackers wearing shorts.

Rap Music is a bigger oxymoron than Jumbo Shrimp.

Finally, I am bitter about the web hosting customer service and am going to bed.

I plan on doing much the same tomorrow.

Daddy likey.

Know of an Unreal-worthy local blog?
Send the URL to [email protected]

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