Pitchers & Catchers

Why no Gay Day at Busch Stadium? Whod win an indoor football game between teams QBed by Neil Young and Alanis Morissette? Unreal asks the tough questions.

Danny Massier: Indoor football was derived from arena football. The big difference is there are no "rebound nets" behind the back of the end zone. In arena football you can throw a pass that can bounce off the nets and back to the receiver. Also in indoor football the players don't have to play both ways — arena football has the rule that you can only have two "specialists."

Besides yourself, are there other fans of the sport?

Yes. There are five indoor leagues at the moment. I go to OurSportCentral.com to find out all the info on indoor football. Their tagline is "major coverage of minor leagues." You can find just about anything on there — women's football and all that.

Dan Zettwoch


Know of an Unreal-worthy local blog?
Send the URL to unreal@riverfrontti mes.com

For one quarter, you're on the kickoff coverage team. If the guy with the ball runs toward you, what will you do?

I was never a big guy, but the last time I played tackle football — before high school — my strategy was to get in the guy's way, let him almost run over me, but wrap my arms around him and tackle him. It worked.

Do you think you can summon the rage to call yourself a Rage?

Oh yes. I'm pretty sure I can get outrageous and be one of the Rage. I don't know how I'm going to sleep the night before, or even the night afterwards.

Local Blog O' the Week

"debordante baratin"
Author: Deborah Meister
About the blogger: "I divide my time among my family, teaching, writing, making music, the study of theology, and developing better spiritual habits."
Recent Highlight (June 6): After two grueling days at Children's Hospital, fighting the nurses, doctors, and aids, one grandmother and a mom, this little boy enjoyed a couple of hours at the St. Louis Zoo.

"So, Jon, what was your favorite part of the zoo?"

"Mmmmmm, I like elephants."

"They are really big. Do they scare you?"

"Not these elephants. They were hot and wanted to squirt water all over themselves. And two of them are going to have baby elephants soon."

"What other animals impressed you at the zoo?"

"I thought the penquins were pretty cool. They stink though. I had to hold my breath inside the cave. And the fish are fun to watch, too. FISH!!"

"You were very brave at the hospital. What did they have you do?"

"I had to hold really still while this big machine was lowered over my chest. I did not hold still and they made me do it again later."

"That was an xray machine. Did they take blood, too?"

"They waited til the end of the first day. I screamed a lot. They could not find blood vessels in my arms. Before that they did a sweat test and wrapped plastic around my arm."

"You knew you were allergic to peanuts before you went to the hospital. Did they confirm this allergy?"

"Yes, I can't have peanuts like the elephants can, but I hope I can play with the elephants anyway. And I am allergic to peas, which are disgusting anyway — so who cares — and I can't eat wheat."

"I am sure you will find many other things to eat. What else did the doctors learn?"

"I have an unusually formed aortic path that they call an arch. It is serious, but they are going to help me and I won't get resptr — restripo — repsti — colds and stuff so much. That will be a good thing."

« Previous Page