By Daniel Hill
By Roy Kasten
By Kris Wernowsky
By Chaz Kangas
By Joseph Hess
By Julie Seabaugh
By Mike Appelstein
By Rachel Brodsky
9 p.m. Thursday, March 15. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Avenue. $12. 314-773-3363.
Luck O' the Draw
Traditional Irish music possesses many outstanding qualities most notably, lyrics that are easy to remember and melodies that encourage clapping along (two things that are way fun when you're on beer number twentysomething). But no one wants to be the guy who's loudly and mistakenly belting, "Crack-whore my daddy-o, there's whiskey in the bar!" So brush up by picking the correct ending to the following lyrics.
1. I eat when I'm hungry,
I drink when I'm dry
And if moonshine don't kill me
A. I'll live till I die.
B. Then really, what's the point?
C. No Irishman am I.
D. The smokes probably will.
2. Whiskey, you're the devil, you're leading me astray
Over hills and mountains into Americay
You're sweeter, stronger, decenter
You're spunkier than tea
A. Aw, who am I kidding? I can't stay mad at thee!
B. I'll see you right after work there, homey.
C. Oh, whiskey, you're me darlin' drunk or sober!
D. I'd rather have a bottle in front o' me than a frontal lobotomy.
3. Hunt the hare and turn her
Down the rocky road
And all the ways to Dublin
A. The one that's in Ohio.
B. Now which way do we go?
C. Don't make me turn this damn car around.
4. Now the publican's anxious for the quota to come
There's a far-away look on the face of the bum
The maid's gone all cranky and the cook's acting queer
A. What a terrible place is a pub with no beer.
B. And the band's out of tune and hurting my ear.
C. So away from this port, my boat I shall steer.
D. I'm feeling worse now than when I got here.
5. Well he made a big apology
I told him then goodbye
Saying, "When next you want a beating
A. 'The Keg, She Has Gone Dry.'"
B. 'Our Reuben's Not On Rye.'"
C. 'No Irish Need Apply.'"
D. 'Bono's Gay.'"
1. A ("The Moonshiner")
2. C ("Whiskey You're the Devil")
3. D ("The Rocky Road to Dublin")
4. A ("The Pub With No Beer")
5. C ("No Irish Need Apply")