Kick out the jammies.

A toddler and her dad road-test alt-lullabies for B-Sides, while the Downtown Trio adds jazz and pizzazz to local TV staple the Fan Show.

However, to let you know where our four-year-old is coming from: She can't make it through four notes of "Moon River" without getting sad and telling me to turn it off. And in recent months, she's made the following comments to me: "I don't like metal," "Turn off that metal. It hurts my ears," "I like hair metal," "You like metal; I like princess," and "Is there girl metal?" Also, after bringing me a copy of Decibel magazine with Iron Maiden's undead mascot Eddie on the cover, she said, "Is this metal? I want you to put that away."

Her responses to some of Baby Rock's selections:

On the tinkling adaptation of the Cure's "Boys Don't Cry": "That's a little bit happy and sad."

On Radiohead's "No Surprises," mild-style: "It's a little happy and sad." Followed by a little pirouette.

On the Radiohead Rockabye artwork, a teddy bear with the pointy teeth from the Kid A's iconic grimacing cartoon faces: "It's happy and scary and sad."

On Nine Inch Nails' "Hurt," which is just a tad more pleasant than Johnny Cash's version: "Turn that off — it's sad."

Regarding NIN's "Something I Can Never Have," which is as eerie as the original. Me: "Do you like this song?" Her: "No, no, no."

On the Ramones' "Rock 'N' Roll High School," which improves on the original — not a difficult feat. Me: "Do you like this?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Is it happy or sad?" Her: "Happy."

On Ramones' "I Wanna Be Sedated": "There's no words."

Baby Rock recently uploaded the series to iTunes and eMusic, and a compilation is now available at Hot Topic — which, as any cool parent can tell you, is absolutely the best place to get a Social Distortion bib. Buy at least two: one for them, and one for you. — D.X. Ferris

« Previous Page