Morrison: [rolling eyes] Uh, sure, Brett. Especially since you finally decided to ditch your bleached-blond hair, a.k.a. the hairdo that went out of style when Saved by the Bell went off the air.
Krieger: [sighing] Jim, I understand you might be a little upset that we've continued on without you. But did you read the press release we sent out? Look what I said: "Jim Morrison can never be replaced, but this project has never been about that. It's about giving a voice to the body of work we created with Jim in a live setting." The people have spoken, and they want to go see the Doo... I mean, Riders on the Storm.
Riders on the Storm
7 p.m. Friday, May 11. Pop's, 1403 Mississippi
Avenue, Sauget, Illinois. $45. 618-274-6720.
Morrison: What people? Those who were stoked that Fuel had a song in the video game NASCAR Thunder 2004, or heard "Sunburn" in the flick Scream 3? The whole point of the original Doors was that they were dangerous. You never knew if I was going to be too drunk to sing, whipping out my junk onstage or simply behaving like a raving madman. This guy [points at Scallions, who is making kissy-faces in the mirror] is about as unpredictable as Wonder Bread.
Scallions: [frowning] Hey, I'm unpredictable. Today I parted my hair on the right.
Manzarek: Jim, Rhino Records just reissued gussied-up versions of our back catalog. We scored a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and a big exhibit at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. This tour is just another way for people to remember who we are. Plus, Brett has classic-rock cred: Fuel covered Led Zeppelin's "Going to California."
Morrison: Yes, like he was in a Creed cover band.
Scallions: [frowning again] Hey, I resent that remark. I was going for Pearl Jam. [talking to himself] Eddie is the man, dude. Ten, shiiiit, what an awesome disc.
Morrison: [starting to float away] [Doors drummer] John Densmore has the right idea, having nothing to do with such shenanigans. Good luck with this stuff, fellas. I have a tai chi class with Kurt in ten.
7 p.m. Friday, May 11. Pop's, 1403 Mississippi Avenue, Sauget, Illinois. $45. 618-274-6720.
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