Buy Me Some Peanuts and Geritol

A San Francisco Chronicle scribe recently wrote that “The Giants are baseball’s version of an Oreo cookie left too long in milk: Soft and crumbling on the outside, useless goo on the inside.” See what you think this evening at 6:15 p.m., when the members of the oldest major-league ball club in the past 50 years will grab their gloves and walking canes and take the field at Busch Stadium (Broadway and Poplar Street). And, of course, the boo birds will be out in force as all eyes turn to Barry Lamar Bonds and his surreal assault on baseball’s most hallowed record.

I love the Giants -- as all thinking people do -- and will root for Barry, for no other reason than I’m fascinated with 42-year-old men whose feet and hat size continue to grow. Unfortunately, there’s not much else about the Giants that holds any fascination this season. The team languishes in its divisional cellar and offers little in the way of marquee players, save Bonds and $126 million Barry Zito, though he’s been an absolute disaster. The club is rife with such over-the-hill retreads as Ryan Klesko, Ray Durham and Rich Aurilia, who refuses to swing until after the ball hits the catcher’s mitt. So Cardinal fans, if you can’t beat this team, it’s going to be a long, nasty summer.

Tickets for tonight’s game cost $18 to $240; to make a purchase, visit www.stlouiscardinals.com.
Sat., July 7