Buck Wild

Unreal dresses up for Halloween, ponders getting electrocuted and entertains a bizarre fantasy about Joe Buck and Tim McCarver.

Well, I suppose you could. But I haven't tried it. The massager looks like a computer mouse. It runs on a nine-volt battery and has a couple wires sticking out of it with pads. You place the pads on your flesh and turn it on.

Sounds masochistic! Does it hurt?

It can. The dial goes all the way to number five, though I've never been able to get it past number three. It makes your muscles contract something awful.

Oh yeah! All this talk is giving us a stiff joint, if you know what we mean. How can we get our hands on the massager, stimulus, electric?

I'm the local distributor. Just give me a call at 314-283-2071. You'll be glad you did!

From time to time Unreal trolls the St. Louis Post-Dispatch classified section's "Bargain Box." We cannot guarantee any item remains available for purchase at press time.

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