So now I think I have it figured out. "Snowball" refers to finely shaved ice. Snow cone refers to ice shaved or chopped not quite as fine.

"That seems like a very fluid definition."

Funny, Doc. But that's the problem, isn't it? I mean, we're talking about ice. Whether chopped or shaved or crushed, it's pretty damn refreshing when it's 100 in the shade.

It's sno good: Sarah and Monica Macheca at Kirkwood's Tropical Moose.
Jennifer Silverberg
It's sno good: Sarah and Monica Macheca at Kirkwood's Tropical Moose.

I'll tell you, though, there was one thing I saw that I've never seen before. Cream snowballs. I had one at Glaciers, in the parking lot near the Sappington Farmers' Market on Watson Road in Marlborough. You make a hollow chute in the ice, fill it with a cream mixture and then add the syrup and top it with whipped cream. I couldn't bring myself to order a vanilla ice-cream snow cone or something like that — just didn't seem kosher, you know? — so I tried the peaches-and-cream. It wasn't bad, though I noticed the whipped cream more than the cream inside the snow cone. But it certainly wasn't as refreshing as a good old-fashioned snow cone.

"Or snowball."


"Anything else bothering you?"

Just one thing. When I was at Glaciers, a big group of kids was in line in front of me. A daycare or summer camp or something like that. More than a dozen snow cones. I drove around for fifteen minutes, and the little brats still hadn't finished getting their snow cones. And then, on a $40 order, their chaperone tips a buck. One measly dollar. It would have been less insulting not to tip at all.

"Ian, are you really angry at those kids and their chaperone? Or are you angry at your inner child?"

Doc, I think our time is up.

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