This wasn't quite clear on the box: Is it for all over or just the nether regions?
It's just for intimate areas. Obviously you can use it for all over, but the ingredients in the bottle are targeted toward intimate areas.
We weren't sure how we felt about rubbing man junk on our face.
That's definitely not where it's supposed to go. But Man Junk has totarol, an ingredient imported from New Zealand that's effective against bacteria buildup. I guess you could use it in different amounts to break down acne, and it could be effective against bacteria buildup on the face.
Maybe we'll get a Man Junk facial after all! It has kind of a lemon-fresh, Pine-Sol scent to it. Does that mean it's as good on, ahem, hardwood floors as carpets?
Are these real questions? Well, we've actually put an essential lime oil in the product, and while we haven't done any testing on hardwood floors I'd assume it works pretty good.
In the press kit it says, "Don't put anything on your downstairs captain that the creators themselves aren't using." What the heck is a downstairs captain?
I think that — when we said — well, the downstairs captain is your genitals. We're actually using the product on our junk to ensure you feel comfortable using it on yours. It's made for men by men. I use Man Junk every single day, every time I take a shower.