Abrahowdumbya: Only a herd of ignoble knuckle-draggers go to magic shows

FEATURE, OCTOBER 9, 2008

Magic-worshipping knuckle-draggers

Let me pull a stooge out of my hat: I must admit that I'm not surprised ["Abracadabra," Matt Kasper]. I've always known, generally speaking, that Middle America is largely populated by obtuse dolts — a populace that will prove, time and time again, that they will gladly be party to all manner of flim-flammery. Any smarmy poltroon with a gift for legerdemain, from wowing the crowd with tricks from a Loudini's Magic Show kit on some low-rent happy-hour stage to spitting fire and brimstone from the pulpit, can easily flummox fistfuls of dollars from such a herd of ignoble knuckle-draggers. Hey, St. Louis and her magicians — I've got a trick for you; pull my finger and wait for the stinky magic. This Bud's for you.
Wack-a-doo, Arizona, via the Internet

A to Z, OCTOBER 8, 2008

Crazy Eight

It ain't worth it: I would be hesitant to pay eight bucks for a show I really wanted to see ["The Wedge Opens October 17, With Gold Tooth, DJ Elemental Child," Annie Zaleski]. I'd love to support the Wedge (and no doubt will) but they need to reconsider that amount. If this were a bill with a local and maybe one or two touring bands, $8 is reasonable, especially given gas prices, etc. For one local band? Nope.
Matt Picker, via the Internet

Got soup?: Eight bucks? Do you get a free bowl of soup with that?
South Side Skeptic, via the Internet

Say what?: Who in the hell is Gold Tooth!?!
Scott Lasser, via the Internet

High price to pay: I am looking forward to patronizing this place, but think the price is a skosh (just a skosh) too high. I hope the Wedge-ists can adjust accordingly.
Amanda, via the Internet

Stop your bitching: Un-f*cking-believable. Eight dollars, and you're crying? Give me a break. And Gold Tooth features at least one St. Louis music veteran, Jeff Gallo, who has been playing to crybabies like you all for probably close to twenty years now. Motherf*ckers have to pay for gas to get there, for strings, sticks, heads, instruments, cables, repairs, guitar set-ups, Sharpies, printer paper, batteries, rentals, etc., etc., all so that they can play to a bunch of whiners who bitch about shelling out eight bucks "in this economy." And then they have the monthly rehearsal space rent to shell out so that they can write new stuff to play for you next month. Think about it.
STL Treadmill, via the Internet

RUNDOWN, OCTOBER 7, 2008

Let's Talk Kimbo

Slice and dice: Kimbo Slice doesn't mean anything to MMA (mixed martial arts), he never did ["Why Kimbo Slice Matters to the Future of Sports," Aaron Schafer]. He was, or still is, EliteXC's poster boy. That's all, nothing more. Let's hope that EliteXC is finally done.
James, via the Internet

All hype: I agree Kimbo was the poster boy for the casual fan. You mention that Ken Shamrock was a legend, and you're right, but you fail to mention that as of now, Ken is 44 years old and is 2-8 in his last 10 fights. Kimbo is all hype, generated from Internet street fights, Shaw's big mouth, and victories over handpicked, over-the-hill opponents. Please, do not give Kimbo so much credit, he's nothing to the real fans of MMA.
Shaun, via the Internet

No, really: Shaun sounds so proud to be a "real" fan of MMA. The rest of us are all very proud of you too, Shaun. Really. No, really.
Jr, via the Internet

Shaun's on the mark. No, really: Shaun is absolutely right, though. There were cries of joy throughout the online MMA community when Slice went down at the hand of a washed-up former UFC vet who recorded not a single win in his time in that organization. Add to that the fight-fixing implications Petruzelli hinted at in post-fight interviews, and things are looking mighty bad for Shaw and EliteXC. Really, the only reason MMA needs EliteXC is that they are the first organization to get a major network television contract, and that alone will do a great deal for the mainstreaming of the sport. The downside, however, is that more people then ever saw a couple seriously brutal knockouts on Saturday, and for those not fully understanding what was going on, there will certainly be more McCain style "human cockfighting" statements to come.
Bill Burge, via the Internet

Why don't you get in the ring with him: Kimbo Slice always has a puncher's chance. His problem was he had no respect for his opponent and got caught cold. You can say he's nothing, but I would like to see you fight him. Everyone said George Foreman stinks, yet he came back and knocked out a pretty good fighter in Michael Moorer. Yes, they lack skill and technique, but they bring excitement to the ring. No one wants to watch an hourlong wrestling match on the ground. I want to see a violent confrontation with a possible knockout. Kimbo will be back and I guess he might knock someone out. Hey, why don't you challenge him and we can watch him knock you out.
Bill, via the Internet

 
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