"My mom screamed at me: 'Slut!' She used to be so smart and beautiful. I was nine years old, and my baby brother died. She's been crazy ever since. I didn't understand why she'd forsake her other kids."

"I didn't do it well," Mom allows. Today, she's in therapy and takes antidepressants. Her speech is slurred from some of her more radical treatments. "The others seemed to get over it so fast. I felt left alone, to feel all that pain by myself. There didn't seem to be any reason to go on living."

When Holliday was eighteen, her mother kicked her out of the house.

"I feel badly about it now," Mom says. "She wouldn't empty the dishwasher, and it was her job. I felt bad about it. I said, 'You can't live here anymore.'"

Her father didn't intervene: "I was just...at work," he says.

"She never really has forgiven me," Mom says. "It was an awful thing I did, putting her out of the house. I always said I'm never going to talk to my kids with the hateful voice my mother would use. Then I heard it coming out of my own mouth."

Holliday supported herself by stripping and escorting.

"I was nineteen; it was the worst year of my life," she says. "I felt like men were the enemy. It still wasn't on my terms. I mean, I did it; I drove over there. But I was taken advantage of."

"I always was along with everything you did, but I was super worried about you," says Mom.


In her early twenties, Holliday met the man — a dashing romantic character — who would become her husband, and then her ex-husband. Their sex life started out steamy but cooled after they became Mr. and Mrs. They had a child. After seven years, when Holliday was 30, they divorced.

Holliday, a natural writer, took to the Internet on a simple WordPress blog in 2006, mainly for "ranting," she says.

"I read a lot of blogs and thought, 'I have more interesting things to say.'"

Early posts were about prosaic topics: getting hit on by a doofus at the grocery store, books she liked, getting a job.

But Holliday's sex life was interesting, and getting more so — she was in a relationship with a man who initially wanted monogamy. Then another girlfriend moved in with them.

The more she blogged about it, the more people wanted to read about it.

"Through my twenties, I was in a contained box; it was safe and secure," she says of married, non-blogged-about life. "I turned 30 and was able to leave my husband and explore." She calls the blog "a safe haven for perverts, a way of replacing negative energy with positive."

The blog's name was conceived by her daughter, who wondered aloud during a car trip what kind she and her mother were, and then answered herself: "We are the beautiful kind!"

As the Beautiful Kind grew more racy, Holliday began to review porn films, answer questions and profile other sex-positive bloggers and real-life friends. But even with her interest in the wider world, Holliday kept things intensely personal: She has chronicled sex work, stripping, living in a triad with a male and female partner, having her heart broken and ultimately finding peace with a man who neither expects nor offers monogamy.

That man, her partner of two years, is known as Beast.

Like Holliday's parents, Beast was happy to talk about her, but he wouldn't allow his real name to be used. He's a 34-year-old mountain of a man, a divorced father of two, with a commanding and genial magnetism.

Beast and Holliday met through an ex of Holliday's. She wrote posts detailing the beginning of their love affair. They've been together ever since, without plans to marry or cohabitate or be sexually exclusive.

"Kendra's and my relationship works so well because I know what she wants," he says. "She can be who she wants to be. I don't give her guilt trips. We allow each other to be who we want to be."

And who they want to be is on full display on the blog. It's written primarily by Holliday, but Beast, her friends and her lovers write guest posts from time to time.

It's a beautiful-looking blog — and it gets upward of 1,000 visits each day.

"It is a fiercely loyal audience," says the Web Master, who, of course, also refuses to be quoted under his real name. "Generally, most of our traffic is current visitors — we get a lot of direct traffic from people who visit the site."

Holliday and the Web Master were coworkers once upon a time. He now volunteers his time to create their shared vision.

"Right now we're kind of preaching to the choir," he says. "She's trying to promote sex positivity — we want to reach people who haven't had that opportunity yet."

He says they're launching a revamped and much more interactive site, ideally in spring 2011. Plans include discussion forums and member profiles.

"Currently the website is not profitable," he says. "We'd like it to be. We're trying to broaden the website's appeal. We'd love to have advertising, partnerships with different companies."


« Previous Page
 |
 
1
 
2
 
3
 
4
 
5
 
6
 
All
 
Next Page »
 
My Voice Nation Help
0 comments
 
St. Louis Concert Tickets
Loading...