That's all changed.

"I keep thinking of Rosa Parks," Holliday says. (For the record, she stresses that she doesn't equate what she's accomplishing with the civil-rights hero's efforts.) "She could have decided she didn't want to be a nuisance. The fact that I'm doing this with a child makes it so deep. It's me saying I deserve to be here just as much as you do."

Holliday sees spreading the gospel of kink as her life's calling and has decided that the only way she can be true to her mission and to herself is to be out in the open.

EdenFantasys.com plans to help promote the newly revealed Holliday in several ways. Holliday filmed a video interview, which will soon be live on its site. She'll also participate in an interactive chat with readers.

"It's an honor to be there for her," Steinour says. "There are gonna be people who regret throwing her aside."


Today, Holliday lives in a little house not too far from where she grew up. She describes it as a fairy cottage — she says she's a witch, and ten-year-old Kiddo, who lives with her half the time, is a fairy. There are plants and terrariums and a huge stuffed giraffe called Matilda in the dining room. Three cats and a guinea pig live there, and there's a doll house that will reduce anyone who's ever been a little girl to squeals of delight — paid for with stripping money.

There are shelves full of books on erotic exploration, and Holliday pushes pieces of furniture in front of them when other kids come over to play. There are gorgeous paintings of her on the walls — some, but not all, are nude.

A candle burns in the small, neat bathroom. There's a book in progress next to the toilet: Ian Kerner's instructional tome on cunnilingus, She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman.

Holliday's bed is a simple futon mattress on the floor in her room, with a Hitachi Magic Wand (pretty much the Cadillac of vibrators) plugged in at the ready like a charging cell phone. There's a small altar with deities that inspire Holliday and a huge glass curio case that's mostly filled with glass dildos.

Kiddo is incandescent with energy, her long blonde braid jumping along behind her. She's got a trumpet, a sketchbook full of anime characters and a secret jar of secret ideas. It's a rapid-fire tween girl candy life, and Kiddo seems pretty pleased with it.

In the bedroom, Kiddo points out the dildo curio.

"This is my mom's...collection," she says, with the kind of eye-rolling disdain that ten-year-old girls have perfected.

Holliday acknowledges that, while outing herself will be a relief in many ways, there are almost certainly negative consequences on the horizon. It must be nerve-wracking for the neighbors to realize that it was her vagina full of fist they e-mailed to their friends. And while her parents and ex-husband know about the blog, Holliday still worries about the fallout for her partner and, of course, for Kiddo.

Recently, she gave the principal at Kiddo's school some advance warning about this story and her own publicity blitz.

She received harsh words in exchange.

"She was like, 'You're being selfish; you're going to hurt your daughter.' Yeah, she might be made fun of a few times, but it might save some lives," Holliday says, referencing the recent rash of bullied gay teens committing suicide. "I'm thinking ahead. I'm thinking long term."

The situation is definitely complicated. Susan Wright of the Baltimore-based National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, a nonprofit that helps protect the rights of people with alternative sexual interests, applauds Holliday's decision to out herself.

"When people knew people who were gay and were able to think of them as their friends and family, they could think of them outside the stereotype," she says. "We need to get the help of the bulk of Americans who really don't care about other peoples' sex lives, so we can fight against the people who want to legislate morality."

But Wright, along with others, can see the point in staying hidden.

"I would use as a caveat: If you are a parent of a child under eighteen, don't come out," Wright says. "You could have a great relationship with your ex — once you go public, they could get blowback from people in their lives and try to get custody. I would discourage it, but I admire it and support her wholeheartedly."

And Holliday does fear her daughter taking heat, if people make the connection between the two of them.

"I'm most afraid of anything happening to my partner or my daughter," Holliday says. "I don't want them to feel the heat of my courageous decision. If anyone says anything about me, and it's true, I'll own it. They can't shame me — 'Oh, she's a slut.' OK."

Both Holliday and her ex-husband have made it clear that the girl must not be identified by her real name. (He doesn't share Holliday's last name.)

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