Leaf It Alone: What can be done to stop the thievery of agave leaves?

Dear Mexican: Read your column in the Village Voice and am hoping you can help me: I think I have a Mexican problem. In short, I have a home in sunny California on a property with an abundance of agave cactus and Century plants growing along the street. Every year for the past twenty years, five to ten cactus leaves (three to four feet in length) are cut from the base of the plants that are in front closest to the street. This occurs several times a year prior to holidays, Christmas and others. The huge plants with slashed leaves are a visual blight. I have posted numerous respectful signs such as "No Hunting Cactus Leaves — Private Property," but to no avail. I believe this is a Mexican matter as there are many Mexicans living and working in the surrounding area. On one occasion, I observed a Mexican casing the plants and told him of the problem and how the police had been notified and were monitoring the area. He was gone before I could say adiós and the leaf cutting stopped for about six months. Recently, the practice has been reinstated. Agave is used for tequila, and lately has become popular as a sweetener for baked goods. Also good for floral decor and barbecue. ¿Qué puedo hacer?
Cactus Culero

Dear Gabacho: Of course it's a Mexican problem — while gabachos like yourself use such plants as ornamentals, Mexicans have long revered the agave (which, a propósito, isn't a cacti) for its many uses — you named some, but others include making teas, creating ropes out of the fibers, and even needles from the sharp points at the end of the leaves. And don't forget that each leaf, if properly cared for, will sprout in into its own plant. Sorry to say, but you really can't do much to stop the thievery — Mexicans pick all crops and plants before them (even if on private property) as a matter of habit given that's been our American-requested mandate in this country from día one.

Dear Mexican: Americans who like tacos, salsa, Salma Hayek's chest, Mexican beaches and tans does not translate into Americans wanting undocumented Mexicans crossing our borders to work here, bringing in disease/drugs/crime and receiving welfare benefits. Are you high on peyote, man? Who in their right mind would want to live under Mexican law and culture? Mexico is a mess and not because of the gabachos — please, senior! You and your jealous amigos are the hypocrites because Mexico is a top-heavy wealthy country that has no human rights, no freedom of the press, no access to the courts, no due process, no welfare programs or shelters for the poor, suffering people I saw on the streets of Mexico City! WHY aren't you and your amigos bashing Mexico and its government for the disgraceful treatment of its people? WHY are you bashing the U.S. who offers Mexicans immigrants, legal or illegal, a better life through our BETTER SYSTEM, better education, welfare benefits, free education and free social services? Again: just because we enjoy tequila and fajitas does not mean we want to be Mexican or live under corrupt Mexican culture, or get ripped off daily financially by having our tax money going to Mexicans' welfare benefits! Comprende? Capiche? Or do ya need a translator for this?
Wasting Away in Margaritaville

Dear Gabacho: No one has ever said that a gabacho love for Mexican products translates into a gabacho want for more Mexicans — actually, quite the opposite. From the first Ramona-themed picnics to today's luxe-loncheras, gabachos have tried their darndest to remove Mexicans from the equation of consuming Mexican culture, and have done an amazing job at it — just look at chili, then move on to your bar's Drinko for Cinco celebration. It's a concept academics call appropriation, but the rest of us call hipocresía — ya need a translator for that?

GOOD MEXICANS OF THE WEEK! Dr. William Nericcio, English professor at San Diego State University, is the Mexican's Mexican: a brilliant, scabrous modern-day Socrates save for the pederasty. His expertise has appeared in this columna before, and I'm proud to report Nericcio has finally redesigned his Tex(t)-Mex Galleryblog, where the profe takes his semiotics-obsessed scalpel to dissect news affecting Mexicans in this country with his academic-chúntaro desmadre. Read for yourself at textmex.blogspot.com.

Ask the Mexican at themexican@askamexican.net, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter or ask him a video question at youtube.com/askamexicano!

My Voice Nation Help

You're an evil son of a whore. If you're an American, you are a traitor and you lie by calling yourself a "Mexican". What a phony. If Mexican, you're the type we don't want or need here, because all you can do is bash the very country that gave your whore mama a place to drop her fat-ass anchor (that means you, in case you're too flippin' stupid to get it).

To any American readers, this son of a bitch not only insults us by calling us "gabachos", he dares to call an American a"culero" , which means "asshole", as if someone protecting their own property is an asshole.

More fake letters. no, you stupid commie bitch--the asshole is a stupid crap mexican that not only feels entitled to his neighbor's property, but also to our entire country. Go back to fuckin' mexico that you "love SO much" (but you won't LIVE in that hellhole, WILL ya, you communist liar phony?) and fix your hellhole and leave OUR wonderful country alone. That thief is lucky he's not stealing off MY property; he'd meet my shotgun, like all nasty thieves should. How dare you justify that theft? "Well, he WANTS it, and he USES it for "many wonderful purposes", while the OWNER of it "just uses it as a decoration"--WTF is that to YOU?! it is HIS property, NOT YOURS, and it's none of your fuckin' business what HE chooses to do with it!

YOU simply keep proving that you're a fckin' communist that feels entitled to order what other people may or may not do with THEIR OWN property, or if they're not USING it as YOU think they ought, then by "rights?" it "ought to be taken from them and given to someone who WILL use it the way you approve of". Who the hell do you think you are? We have REPRESENTATIVES here, NOT RULERS. What a stupid jerk.

But, that's communism, folks! And NO, they DON'T "rob the rich and give to the poor"--why do you suppose so many wealthy people are communists, eh? they are free to give their wealth to the poor, but they never DO, DO THEY? Lennon the commie liar/hypocrite did NOTHING for ANY poor ANY where, but left 200 million to his ho (after abandoning his wife and child. he ignored that child all his life. what a crappy little POS dopehead lennon was). many wealthy people who are communists simply use the lies of communism as a vehicle to power--as a vehicle to set up a small, ruling "elite" --tho' there's nothing elite about them--most are of average IQ, no morals, no decency, no sense of justice, no governing ability or knowledge, since they kill their golden gooses--i.e., they are inferior to those they hope to enslave. And who are those they hope to enslave? Why, YOU, dear reader! The very "masses" they claim to protect! Communism does not WORK. All commie countries only exist because of traitors in the free world who have stolen technology, FOOD, weapons and money to give to them.

ALL commie countries use terrorism against their "masses". Secret police, neighbors informing against neighbors, are all done in the hopes of acquiring their neighbor's possessions, however meager they may be--children informing against parents, truthfully, or out of spite because their parents told them "no".

Secret prisons without charges, showcase trials in kangaroo courts, gulags, political prisoners in prison, in gulags, or in mental institutions (because they're "crazy" to not want to be slaves anymore), police and army having the right to mass-murder people on the street, no accountability to the public for anything they do, endless lines for a loaf of bread, no more supermarkets, any restaurants are shoddy, ill-supplied and badly-serviced--EVERYONE is POOR--except for the self-titled "elite", who suffer NO shortages of anything--while YOUR children die of hunger---THIS IS communism!---and THIS is what you're working so hard to force onto AMERICA?

You obviously don't believe in anything that America stands for, you obviously hate white people rabidly, so GET THE F*CK OUT--and take your third-world-mentalitied paisanos with you, thieving, lying, criminal jerks, all of you, and I’ve never met a Mexican female that wasn't a cheap whore. The "reconquista"won't be as easy as you think. Communist bitches call it "reconquering", after the Spanish that invaded, raped, murdered and enslaved the Indian population in Mexico, southern, western, and even northern parts of America, and thru' central and south America. but they won't tell you THAT.

No, they lie and say "whitey" did that. NO, it was THEM. Even today, their Indians are second-class citizens. Mexican is not a race, and it's not Spaniard, either,--Mexicans are half-breeds and quarter-breeds. Indian, Spanish, black, sometimes a little white, even a little French--but mostly Indian/Spanish. but they like to say, "I’m 100% Mexican." ha-ha, there's no such thing.

Btw, another thing "proud" "Mexicans’ and commies won't tell you---Mexico allied itself with nazi Germany during WW2. Why? Because they hoped that the nazis would murder all Americans for them, then go back to Germany and give American land and buildings and possessions to their "loyal Mexican allies". The evil idiots. Had the nazis won, their next step would've been to commit genocide against their Mexican allies, (look at what they did to their Russian allies),and they would rule the world, they would not have gone back to Germany. ("reich" means "EMPIRE").

Yeah, I’d be ashamed to live in Mexico, TOO--no WONDER they all sneak in here! and they sneak in, break laws, assault, rape and murder Americans, or just break laws and take jobs away from Americans, STILL hoping to murder off all Americans, and guess what?! and take American land, buildings, businesses, and possessions! THEY'RE STILL NAZIS, THEN, AREN'T THEY? and America, in the name of "diversity" and "equality" (as if they were our equals, or something) gives them jobs with immigrations and customs.

I’m sure many do a faithful job, but it is true that many betray America every day and many let their friends and relatives in, many let dope in, many take bribes. So, you refuse to call yourself an American? you call yourself a "Mexican"? GET OUT. By your many racist attacks on Americans and America in this evil little column, you have proven yourself to be UNFIT and UNWORTHY to set your filthy feet on American soil. Ha-ha, and it not only thinks it is our equal, it thinks itself our superior! it is mistaken on all counts.

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