Ask a Mexican! Special April Fools' Edicion

Dear Readers: Rather than me punk ustedes with a prank, I give you the cruelest joke of all — ex-congressman and eternal Know Nothing Tom Tancredo! In return for him graciously allowing us to debate in Denver last year, I've allowed him to answer two questions of my picking, with no editorial interference from me save my intro and conclusion (so all the wacky stats he pulls out are his and his alone). See you at the end of the columna, for my Good Mexican of the Week — take it, Tom!

Dear Mexican: Why do legal Mexican immigrants, feel the need to make sure their criminal counterparts stay here and receive things they, the legal immigrant had to work so hard to receive legally?
Insert Derogatory Nickname about Me Here, Hopefully Something Witty

Dear American: I suspect the question may be a sardonic one. It subtly suggests that critics of illegal entry like myself wrongly consider all illegal aliens "criminals" while legal Mexican immigrants do not see them that way. I think that suggestion is an oversimplification and an attempt at stereotyping. Actually, the idea that all Americans of Mexican descent welcome illegal interlopers is a misconception created by a fawning liberal media and advocacy organizations with a political agenda. Second-, third- and fourth-generation Mexican immigrants are divided on the question of welcoming all illegal border jumpers, and it's dangerous to over-generalize about their views.

Many legal immigrants — and even many U.S.-born citizens of Mexican heritage — have a grandfather or aunt or uncle who also arrived illegally a decade ago or in the 1970s. Few immigrants of any nationality want to see a relative or good neighbor deported. But this natural sympathy can be stretched only so far. That sympathy does not extend to the criminal class among the illegal alien population, which is estimated to be as high as 10%. About 25% of convicted felons in the Phoenix jail are illegal aliens, and we do know that in the Tucson sector of the Border Patrol, about 15% of the border trespassers apprehended have criminal records–criminal records in the United States! Yes, anyone who crosses the border without authorization is breaking the law, and if apprehended anywhere inside the US, can and should be deported whether or not they have broken other laws. This happens to be not only my opinion, but the opinion of about 75% of the American public. It is also the view of thousands of legal Mexican immigrants and Latino citizens who see good jobs being lost to illegal persons who will work for less. So, let's acknowledge that the views of legal Mexican residents are complex and run the gamut. Stereotyping them as having a single view is not flattering to them or to the poser of the question.

Dear Mexican: Why do Mexican radio DJs insist on having that Mickey Mouse high-pitched voice and automated laughter track? Do they assume that most Mexican listeners are so stupid that they have to be reminded when to laugh and that we need a childlike character to induce the laughter? Just seems silly and wrong to me.
Radiola On

Dear American: First off, that voice isn't actually Mickey Mouse — it's an illegal alien impersonator who offered to do the voiceover cheaper than Mickey would. And the reason they play the high-pitched voice isn't because migrant workers are obtuse; it's just that oftentimes, they can't hear the substance of the original joke over the sounds of the nail guns and clanking plates at the restaurants and construction sites where they are illegally working.

GOOD MEXICAN OF THE WEEK! OK, cabrones: It's your Mexican again! Wasn't Tom fun? OK, maybe not, and that's why we have the Colorado Immigrant Rights Coalition, which challenges Tancredo and his ilk every step of the paseo with stats, rallies and undocumented college students obtaining their degrees. Support the mensches at www.coloradoimmigrant.org.

Ask the Mexican at themexican@askamexican.net, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter or ask him a video question at youtube.com/askamexicano!

 
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3 comments
Dave Francis
Dave Francis

ZERO TOLERANCE

IF YOU WANT THE 1986 IMMIGRATION CONTROL & REFORM ACT STRICTLY ENFORCED, DON'T EXPECT THIS LAW RESPECTED BY EITHER THE LIBERAL DEMOCRATS OR REPUBLICANS.

By the tens of millions patriotic Americans and legal residents are joining the TEA PARTY, to halt the illegal immigration invasion. This has become a financially vicious circle that will not end, with either the deep entrenched Liberal-Democrats, Republicans or any political entity, other than the committed TEA PARTY. The TEA PARTY is growing much faster from the dominant Republicans corner, and certain politicians are discarding there old party ties to join this third party. Pro-sovereignty, anti-ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION organizations are connecting with their regional tea party. The political demise will be apparent, when Governors, Mayors, Police Chief and city managers,council elected officials who support subsidizing billions of dollars in education, health care and unfunded mandates under Liberal Progressives are to be voted out of office.

The Tea Party is secular by definition, non-partisan with open registration for all LEGAL races, including ethnic majorities and minorities. The Tea Parties core values are of Fiscal Responsibility, Limited Government, Free--FAIR--Market and a Strong National Security, which means building the REAL border fence with 5000 military deployed. There is great substance in the leadership who are fighting against the old, tired "Business as Usual" political hard liners, who will keep our taxes spiraling and are mortgaging our grand children's futures, that includes massive costs to accommodate illegal aliens. ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION IS DOOMED BY THE POLICIES OF THE TEA PARTY

Dave Francis
Dave Francis

Violating Immigration laws in the majority of developed nations throughout the world, is a felony. It proves to me, there is no intentions to enforce Immigration laws. The only option I had was to join the pro-sovereignty TEA PARTY.

Dave Francis
Dave Francis

ZERO TOLERANCE

IF YOU WANT THE 1986 IMMIGRATION CONTROL & REFORM ACT STRICTLY ENFORCED, DON'T EXPECT THIS LAW RESPECTED BY EITHER THE LIBERAL DEMOCRATS OR REPUBLICANS.

By the tens of millions patriotic Americans and legal residents are joining the TEA PARTY, to halt the illegal immigration invasion. This has become a financially vicious circle that will not end, with either the deep entrenched Liberal-Democrats, Republicans or any political entity, other than the committed TEA PARTY. The TEA PARTY is growing much faster from the dominant Republicans corner, and certain politicians are discarding there old party ties to join this third party. Pro-sovereignty, anti-ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION organizations are connecting with their regional tea party. The political demise will be apparent, when Governors, Mayors, Police Chief and city managers,council elected officials who support subsidizing billions of dollars in education, health care and unfunded mandates under Liberal Progressives are to be voted out of office.

The Tea Party is secular by definition, non-partisan with open registration for all LEGAL races, including ethnic majorities and minorities. The Tea Parties core values are of Fiscal Responsibility, Limited Government, Free--FAIR--Market and a Strong National Security, which means building the REAL border fence with 5000 military deployed. There is great substance in the leadership who are fighting against the old, tired "Business as Usual" political hard liners, who will keep our taxes spiraling and are mortgaging our grand children's futures, that includes massive costs to accommodate illegal aliens. ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION IS DOOMED BY THE POLICIES OF THE TEA PARTY

 
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