Brother, Can You Spare A Rib?

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There are people who will tell you that you can in fact have a nice Memorial Day weekend without eating some part of a pig. These people are well-intentioned assh -- pardon -- these people are well-intentioned, assuredly, but they’re wrong. All of the best Memorial Day memories come when your burps are porky and the beer bottle keeps slipping through your saucy fingers. If you want to skip the grillwork and get right to the pig parts, make a point of stopping by the Rib America Festival at Soldiers Memorial (Fourteenth and Chestnut streets; www.ribamerica.com). Teams of pro barbecuists from across the country show up to set flame to meat, and you get to tell ‘em how they’re doing. These guys accept tickets only; no cards, no checks, no cash. You buy your tickets in lots of seven for $10, or three tickets for $5. Rib Fest takes place from 11 a.m. to 11 p.m. Friday through Sunday, and 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. Monday (May 27 through 30). Admission is free before 5 p.m. Friday and prior to 1 p.m. all other days; after-hours admission is $7.
May 27-30, 2011