Blowback: Special Child-Rearing Edition: Readers discuss Suzanne Venker and baby spittle

FEATURE, MAY 26, 2011
MOMMY DEAREST
Outsourcing motherhood: If a woman chooses to raise her own kids instead of outsourcing the job to others, that's her choice, and she shouldn't be ridiculed for it ["The Feminine Mistake," Melissa Meinzer]. That point I can agree with, although I would never go so far as to say working moms are destroying America. We all find ourselves in unique situations that demand different things.

That said, as a socially left-leaning person, I don't understand how others who share my values can overlook the value of full-time parenting, if one is in a committed relationship and financially able to do so — and more of us are financially able than we'd like to admit. Just give up a little of your consumerism, and more becomes possible than you'd ever imagined.
OJG, via the Internet

Our lives, our choices: I don't think anyone denies that there is value in a stay-at-home parent; it's just that the pay stinks. I think open-minded people would recognize that either the mom or dad could be the stay-at-home and that not everyone is actually capable of doing it. (It's a hard job.)

The Venkers don't give a rat's ass what you think.
Jennifer Silverberg
The Venkers don't give a rat's ass what you think.

What people like the subject of this article don't seem to get (among many other things) is that every person is different, and boxing someone in based on gender is a stupid way of running society.
Daniel, via the Internet

Thank you, Betty Friedan: How nice that feminism came along and made it possible for her to have a choice on whether she should work or stay at home with the kids.
JMP, via the Internet

GUT CHECK, MAY 17, 2011
ADVENTURES IN BABY SPITTLING
When babies spit up: Ian, I usually enjoy your blog posts, but this one left a bad taste in my mouth ["An Open Letter to the Parents of the Baby Who Puked in Front of Me at Lunch," Ian Froeb]. The parents probably didn't notice the puke on the floor, since A) if they have a baby of puking age, they're probably too sleep-deprived to be alert; and B) they were busy trying to get the baby out of there as quickly as possible, because the earth was not available to swallow them up.

I have been that parent — OK, not with the puke, but definitely with the baby and the humiliation because the baby will not be a perfect little diner. And I have brought my kids up to love all kinds of food and tip generously, so I call it a net gain for society.
Guest, via the Internet

Puke happens: Wow, is someone having a bad day, or are you just an insensitive jack? Surely you've never done anything that caused other people grief and/or time because you were so consumed with actual responsibilities, like raising an effin' human being! She's nurturing life, and you're eating a sandwich!

Guess what? That, and many other inconveniences we'd rather not experience, tend to happen in this funny thing called life.
Quelafack, via the Internet

Ink by the barrel: What a crybaby! And not just a crybaby, but a crybaby with a public forum! A newspaper job!

They were eating at a public restaurant where they paid for the food. Part of the cost of that food is for a restaurant employee to clean the restaurant!
Metatron, via the Internet

Pity the busboy: Your standards are way too high, especially if this was fast-casual, fast or casual (not fine dining). Or, more precisely, your expectations are way too high — whether it's clueless parents, obnoxious teens, stuck-up yuppies or doddering elders, people of all ages are boors. Restaurateurs shouldn't have to clean up after these fools, but, unfortunately, it's part of today's job description.
JZ71, via the Internet

No free pass for parents: Whether fine dining or at McDonald's, when you have a child, messes will be made. It is your duty as a parent to make sure that if there is a mess, beyond normal reason, all of it is cleaned before you dash. The wait staff, busser, host, maitre d', patrons, what-have-you, ain't yo baby's momma (or papa, for you p.c. nuts out there).

This type of thing happens all the time, and I don't think any of us wants to be around when the service industry revolts (Jet Blue style) and starts crapping in our living rooms.
Bob, via the Internet

Pooper scooper: I totally, 100 percent agree with you. If I bring my dog to a restaurant (outdoor patio, of course), and he hacks up God only knows what or, heaven forbid, drops a deuce, I clean it up. If I didn't, the stares of disgust from other patrons would burn through my skin.

I get it: Babies make messes. But don't make those of us without child deal with the aftermath.
Amanda, via the Internet

 
My Voice Nation Help
20 comments
Sort: Newest | Oldest
Oobolton
Oobolton

I just threw up in my mouth...

Bobwroot
Bobwroot

Parents thad dont clean up after thier kids are not fit to be parents, fifteen min. in the sack gives you 20 years of work. I didnt make your mate pregnet and dont want to deal with the mess,its your job.

Acapuntia
Acapuntia

I'm a single father who lazy mother left us and I have a job taking care of my two girls.

James Hodges
James Hodges

It never fails to amaze me how liberal/progressives like to posture themselves as though they are the avant-garde of open mindedness. When in fact, they are the most narrow minded, intolerant, noninclusive people who walk the face of the earth.

HappyCat
HappyCat

How Ironic how a woman who has no children of their own can tell us how to be parents .. and they get away with it.

James Hodges
James Hodges

What planet are you on. If you read the material on her... you would know she has children.

Kheilman
Kheilman

I don't understand the need to desire to always pit us moms against each other. We are all moms and we all work hard. Is there really a need to say that choosing one path over the other is the best?

Erica W
Erica W

Ms. Venkner skipped over one huge group of moms: those who chose to work part-time and to be home with their kids part-time. My mom did this she worked part time and was available to chaperone school trips, be a room parent and otherwise be available to help out while my sister and I were in grade and high school.

Suzannevenker
Suzannevenker

Nope - don't skip over them at all. READ THE BOOKS. An interview can't cover everything.

100699bd
100699bd

I understand the retaliation for the comments that were posted with the last post, but the picture is less than classy. (Seems that the children are not getting a good lesson in all of this)

James Hodges
James Hodges

If it's your kid and it pukes then it's your mess... "Clean it up." No one else should have to do it for you.

Q: What does Venker's book and the Bible have in common?A: Everyone talks about what's in them.... but nobody reads them!

I would dare say most of the people posting on this topic haven't read the book.

The bottom line on Venker's book is... if you don't like what she wrote then... don't buy the book.

Bill Lewis
Bill Lewis

So how do we know what she wrote unless we buy the book?If we decide we don't like what we've read,I guess by then its too late.

James Hodges
James Hodges

That is the catch and is without a doubt a problem of the book industry. On the other hand you could borrow a copy or read it at the library. At least then a person would be qualified to talk about the book.

One of the other problems in the book industry are critics who write a review without actually having read the book being reviewed.

Skittles
Skittles

so we all need to read the book in order to have an opinion about what she SAID in an interview...as if the contents of the book are going to be the opposite of what her views were in the interview...are you impaired?

James Hodges
James Hodges

My point is that you don't know what's in the book unless you read the book. If you don't read the book you only know what people say is in the book and they might be wrong.

Case in point: Look at all the people who are out of their life's savings because they let Rev. Harold Camping tell them what was in the Bible with regard to the rapture. Had they bothered to read the BIble rather than taking his word for it... they would have known he is an idiot who didn't know what he was talking about.

One of the biggest problems in the world today is that everyone wants to be spoon fed information rather than being responsible and checking it out for themselves.

You're not going to get a well rounded view of what she thinks based on a few sound bites or an interview with the media. I have dealt with the media as an SEIU union rep and know how they edit things to make a story.

Talia1
Talia1

So sorry. I was a stay at home Mom for two years. Then the Daddy left me. Got divorced. Had to work.

Mags
Mags

Too many shits leave you when your kids are little. One thing I noticed the two times in my marriage when I wasn't earning a paycheck, too: the level of respect fell quite a bit. It stinks but it's true that not every husband is man enough to honor his wife properly when she's a stay-at-home mom. No one talks about how when he starts to treat you like the help, you have little choice but to get back to your career.

James Hodges
James Hodges

Actually there aren't that many guys who abandon their families. And what there are of them, well... they are pretty much in direct proportion to females who abandon theirs.

Statistically, 50% of all marriages end in divorce. In reality a lot less than 50% of the people who have been married have been divorced. What inflates the rate of marriage to divorce ratio is the number of people who get divorced and remarried, and divorced and remarried and so on and so forth. Case in point is one woman I know who was married seven times... and people like her are not all that uncommon.

What I find funny is how she complains about all her ex's. And yet all the people around her don't seem to have that problem. With that said, what do you think the odds are that she's right and the seven ex's are wrong?

 
Loading...