The 2011 Unreal News Challenge

66. While awaiting imposition of his prison sentence for bilking millions of dollars from his investment-brokerage clients, how did Joshua David Gould support himself?
A. He worked as a mohel, performing ritual circumcisions.
B. Clad in a Statue of Liberty costume, he sang and danced to attract customers to an income-tax preparation company.
C. He administered personality tests for the Church of Scientology in the Delmar Loop.
D. He leeched off his parents.

67. After a tornado ravaged Joplin in May, radio talk-show host Rush Limbaugh visited the city to push what Tea Party-related product?
A. Two If by Tea bottled iced tea.
B. Patriotic tri-cornered hard hats.
C. Shovels with the Preamble to the Constitution printed on the handle.
D. Pez dispensers decorated with the heads of Tea Party luminaries.

68. Why did Webster University boot David Schwartz from its graduate program in family counseling?
A. He failed to maintain a 2.75 grade-point average.
B. His advisor felt he lacked empathy.
C. He posted indecent photos on his Facebook page.
D. He scoffed when discovering the school's mascot is a "Gorlok."

69. In August, Joseph Gamache went on a rampage outside the Chuck E. Cheese in South County Center after spying a white kid hanging out with a group of black kids. What was Gamache's weapon?
A. A pickax.
B. A pickup truck.
C. An atlatl.
D. A and B.

70. In November a Maryland Heights resident became the first Missouri hunter ever to bag a deer with what kind of weapon?
A. A boomerang.
B. A blowgun.
C. An atlatl.
D. A light saber.

71. What the hell is an atlatl, anyway?
A. A spear launcher.
B. A rocket launcher.
C. A type of slingshot.
D. A small-caliber rifle.

72. What is St. Louis firefighter Garon Mosby's claim to national fame?
A. He was a castaway on the 23rd season of Survivor.
B. He was Mr. March in Nation's Bravest: Firefighters Unite, a calendar featuring America's sexiest firemen.
C. A video in which he felled a Greco-Roman wrestling opponent with a move called the Flying Squirrel went viral on YouTube.
D. President Obama appointed him the official spokesman for National Fire Prevention Week.

Match St. Louis' placement in the following 2011 rankings:
73. Percentage of inhabitants with chlamydia.
74. Largest U.S. cities based on population.
75. "Most dangerous cities" based on violent crime.
76. "Saddest cities" based on suicide rates, antidepressant usage and unemployment.

A. No. 5
B. No. 4
C. No. 57
D. No. 2

77. St. Louisan George Hendry, who passed away in August, had his likeness emblazoned on a Wheaties box in 1936 for his prowess in which sport?
A. Football.
B. Soccer.
C. Table tennis.
D. Thumb wrestling.

78. KTRS (550 AM) radio personality JC Corcoran was suspended from the airwaves in November for inflammatory tweets directed at his critics. Based on Corcoran's tweets, what is his favorite insult?
A. "I know you are, but what am I?"
B. "Eat my shorts!"
C. "Blow yourself!"
D. "Suck it!"

79. In January a group of African American historic reenactors took historic reenaction to an unprecedented new level. What did they do?
A. They opened up a blacksmithing shop on Laclede's Landing.
B. They staged a slave auction at the Old Courthouse downtown.
C. They reenacted the Dred Scott trial, casting Scott as a white man facing a black jury.
D. They reenacted key Civil War battles with zombies.

80. How long did 39-year-old St. Charles resident James Wade last in the ring against Kimbo Slice during their pro boxing match in August?
A. 8 seconds.
B. 17 seconds.
C. 2 minutes.
D. 2 rounds.

81. In August, police busted the owner of a Wentzville tattoo parlor for having installed a hidden camera in the bathroom. What's the name of the tattoo parlor?
A. Chuck Berry's.
B. Miss Fanny's.
C. Full Moon.
D. Golden River.

82. City Museum founder Bob Cassilly died in a bulldozer accident in September. Where was he laid to rest?
A. He was interred on the third floor of the City Museum, in a replica of an Egyptian sarcophagus he constructed himself.
B. He was buried in the family plot in Bellefontaine Cemetery.
C. Family and friends rowed canoes into the Mississippi River and scattered his ashes.
D. He was buried in an undisclosed location inside Cementland, his unfinished amusement park in north St. Louis.

83. Board Bill 107, proposed by St. Louis Alderwoman Lyda Krewson, would impose tough restrictions on the city's pet owners. What does the bill require?
A. That all dogs and cats must be neutered or spayed, or their owners must pay a $200 annual fine.
B. That all dogs and cats must be microchipped.
C. That all dogs and cats must wear mittens on their paws when the temperature falls below freezing or there's ice salt on the ground.
D. A and B.

84. Former St. Louis Blues player Mike Danton, now with Sweden's IFK Ore, saved a teammate from choking on his own tongue during a game in September. Where did Danton learn this skill?
A. At a YMCA lifesaving class.
B. From his former Blues coach, Mike Kitchen.
C. In prison, where he spent five years for orchestrating a murder-for-hire plot.
D. From his mother, an emergency-room nurse.

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2 comments
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joeschmoe
joeschmoe

So, when are the results going to be published?

ppilch
ppilch

a waste of time. the 99% need to work to support the 1%.

 
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