Seayou in the Present: Ian Fisher & the Present release record, split time between St. Louis and Europe

Carpenter: Especially about politics.

Fisher: [Laughs] Yeah, and I have a good-old time with that. If I'm confronted by a narrow-minded piece of shit who wants to tell me about where I'm from, then I'll lead him into a trap and just rip him a new asshole.

Carpenter: Even people who aren't narrow-minded! I remember there was this sweet girl, and you guys were talking about some political thing. And you were just grilling her. God, it was terrible. I remember feeling so bad, but I didn't know how to stop it.

Fisher: Everybody loves being grilled. Everybody's a masochist deep down. They love suffering.

On treasured keepsakes:

Carpenter: I pick up doodads. I've got a bell that should be on the neck of a tiny little dwarf cow from this crazy flea market in Switzerland.

Fisher: I carry around my notebook, a picture of my girlfriend, some guitar picks...

Carpenter: I've got a lighter.

Fisher: I keep a lighter that says "Fuck you, you fucking fuck."

On Sicilian culture:

Carpenter: We played a concert with all these crazy technical problems. Afterwards, I was stoned and drunk, so I was on this level of otherworldliness, ready to dance. I asked the DJ, "Can you play some Michael Jackson?" Then this guy comes in and completely changes the atmosphere. He's very well dressed and looks like he's got some business. He goes to the DJ, says one word, and everything shuts down. So I was like, "Come on, man, let's just listen to the end of this song." And this dude gets right into my face and says, [Assumes a menacing Sicilian accent] "You are breaking my balls!"

Fisher: I still remember that evening vividly. We also had a conversation with some guys who told us great things about the Italian language. One guys says, [Mimics a know-it-all Italian accent] "In Italian, 'cazzo' means 'dick,' but it also means 'fuck,' but it also could mean 'shit.'" [Laughs] Yeah, some crazy shit.

On switching careers:

Carpenter: We've talked about becoming a comedy duo completely aside from the music.

Fisher: But it would only work if I mimed everything, because I sound like such a jackass when I speak.

Carpenter: Or if we didn't do actual shows — if we just had people pay us by appointment to hang out.

Fisher: We should be charging you for this interview right now.

Read more: Ian Fisher and the Present Interview Outtakes