6. He's relentlessly cheerful.

It's no surprise that while local TV news is notoriously stacked with stories of violent black men, the commercials between those scare segments feature black spokesmen shilling Coke and Old Spice with big, toothy grins. This image of corporate-friendly masculinity -- amiably parodied by Kenan Thompson on SNL as Corey, "the one black guy in every commercial" back in February -- cements the NTBM as a vaguely aspirational figure and a likable helper-buddy to all white folk.

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