It can be difficult to tell exactly when spring has arrived in St. Louis. After all, we routinely experience all four seasons in the course of a week — and spring seems to hug a very fine line somewhere between "freezing" and "more humid than hell." Lucky for you, we've come up with some signs so you know when you are officially enjoying that beautiful middle ground.
If our fine city has you in a bit of a seasonal identity crisis, here are fifteen ways you know it's spring in St. Louis:
1. The city sidewalks sprout a lush crop of patio furniture once again.
2. The jizz trees return for another round of screwing us all
3. Buskers emerge from their cocoons and begin screaming their mating call, which experts describe at "horrible."
4. Cardinals baseball comes back, along with overpriced beer and that guy who hangs around the stadium dressed as Superman
(he still does that, right?).
5. Your morning dog walk becomes an obstacle course as you try to dodge all the shattered baby birds on the ground .... and keep your dog from eating them.
6. Getting in and out of downtown is suddenly less about dodging a possible criminal element and more about avoiding the traffic flowing in and out of two separate but equally large forcefields. We're looking at you, Busch Stadium and Scottrade Center.
7. The pervert community returns to the sidewalks with new catcalls. (Really, guys?)
8. The parking lot at Vin de Set is mobbed by brunch eaters, ready to storm the roof.
9. City bars are suddenly packed again, as smokers emerge from their basements, ready to fill up their ashtrays on the patios instead of drinking alone at home.
10. Ted Drewes again sounds like a good idea, and not just an excursion for brave, weather-resistant souls.
11. Just as we were wondering if everyone had lost their faith in marriage, photographers and wedding parties invade Lafayette Park and Tower Grove Park yet again.
12. Farmers markets
return. No more frozen vegetables for you (or at least no need for several months).
13. Three-fourths of the population feels the need to congregate at the Saint Louis Zoo, and therefore jam parking around Dogtown, any time the sun peeks out.
14. Speaking of sun, there it is! No wait, it's cool and the rain is pouring. And meteorologists say winter is temporarily coming back tomorrow. But the weekend should be warm. We hope. #stlweatherproblems
15. Wait, warm weather means summer is on its way. Enjoy spring while you can, St. Louis. The armadillo invasion is on its way.