Email Author Jason Toon

2004 Stories by Jason Toon

• So Long, 2004

  published December 29, 2004

  Promise yourself: This will not be another typically lame New Year's Eve. Don't waste the last night of the year waiting for Dick Clark's ball to... More >>

• Winter White Ball

  published December 29, 2004

  FRI 12/31 "It is not white hair that engenders wisdom," quoth Greek dramatist Menander more than 2,000 New Year's Eves ago. But a... More >>

• Forget MILFs

  published December 15, 2004

  We are obsessed with elves. Is it because they are known to be mischievous and a bit eccentric (à la Will Ferrell in Elf)? Perhaps.... More >>

• It's a Daniel Boone Xmas!

  published December 1, 2004

  Upper Louisiana Territory, early 1800s: a mostly lawless frontier of beaver trappers and hired killers, a coonskin Thunderdome whose only moral... More >>

• Hot in Here

  published December 1, 2004

  The world might not know it yet, but the roots of St. Louis hip-hop run deeper than "Tipsy" and "Hot In Herre." St. Louis hip-hop predates J-Kwon,... More >>

• Those Crafty Freaks

  published November 17, 2004

  Although she's still young, Cheri Hutchings remembers a far weirder America, remembers the echoes of a time when a medieval fog shrouded the back... More >>

• Return of the Taller Ballers

  published November 3, 2004

  FRI 11/5 For the Saint Louis University men's basketball team, the past few years have been filled with hope and frustration. Head... More >>

• Pleased to Meet Mir

  published October 27, 2004

  SAT 10/30 In early 2004 President Bush boldly claimed that America would take to outer space with a vengeance, re-conquering the moon... More >>

• U.K. Subs

  published October 20, 2004

  Is there a punk club, squat, youth center, public toilet or Dumpster in the free world that the U.K. Subs haven't played? Granted, the band... More >>

• Medalsome Fun

  published October 6, 2004

  You slept through your nature-sounds alarm again, and the red light on the answering machine flashes with the fury of your irate boss. The stale... More >>

• Gateway to Fun

  published September 22, 2004

  St. Louis may not be home to any major historically black universities, but this weekend we host a huge tailgate party for black collegians and... More >>

• Art v. Art

  published September 8, 2004

  Most people who publicly consume artistic product do so with a glass of wine in hand, in sterile rooms with hardwood floors, in league with fellow... More >>

• Don't Fret!

  published September 8, 2004

  SAT 9/11 Stop lamenting your neglected acoustic guitar, sitting in a corner, collecting dust. Your short fingernails won't have to... More >>

• Rock Thee House

  published September 8, 2004

  Our metropolitan inferiority complex makes St. Louisans obsessive about competing with other cities, hoping that some big victory over our civic... More >>

• Hot Wees

  published September 1, 2004

  One more sign that apocalypse is nigh: Among a small but growing sector of the American populace, RadioShack has actually become cool. Blame it on... More >>

• Better to Flame Out?

  published September 1, 2004

  Marah plays Off Broadway Thursday, September 2. More >>

• Un-belly-vable!

  published August 25, 2004

  The judges: a bevy of belly dancers from the United States and abroad. The contestants: fourteen belly dancers extraordinaire. Where they collide:... More >>

• Moustache-free to Be You and Me

  published August 25, 2004

  Hall & Oates will join Michael McDonald and the Average White Band at UMB Bank Pavilion on August 31 as part of the Rock & Soul 2004 Revue --... More >>

• The Mystery Girls

  published August 25, 2004

  Kids, they grow up so fast these days, with their belly shirts and their "friends with benefits" and their pocket bikes. Take Wisconsin's... More >>

• Our 20th Century Fox

  published July 28, 2004

  For a deeply meaningless experience, spend some time in the utilitarian concourses of today's American cineplex. Anything recognizably human has... More >>

• Taxi

  published July 28, 2004

  Film, fashion, furniture, food and the greatest sculpture and painting ever made by human hands -- is there any aesthetic pursuit that Italians... More >>

• If You Can Dodge a Wrench...

  published July 21, 2004

  More >>

• Bush Whacking

  published July 21, 2004

  THUR 7/22 If the Gods Had Meant Us to Vote, They Would Have Given Us Candidates. There's Nothing in the Middle of the Road... More >>

• Steel Pulse

  published July 21, 2004

  Steel Pulse was indeed one of the finest reggae groups of the '70s, but the members' experience as Jamaican immigrants in Britain flavored... More >>

• Kickin' It

  published July 14, 2004

  Soccer, as a spectator sport, remains a tough sell in the United States -- even after the American team's miraculous World Cup run in 2002. Even... More >>