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2004 Stories by Randall Roberts

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  • Crunch Time

    published August 18, 2004

    Going "nose-to-nose" is demolition-derby-speak for what's known to Sunday drivers as the head-on collision, and it's not much fun when experienced... More >>

  • Mojito Limón

    published August 18, 2004

    Sitting in a tavern on a weeknight, drinking. Alone. Drinking. Drinking alone. Is there any more timeless pursuit than imbibing all by your... More >>

  • Mind Over Muddle

    published August 11, 2004

    It's Thursday evening, the glorious night of 55-degree weather, and the Central West End is positively buzzing. People are ecstatic, rubbing... More >>

  • Ursha Speaks

    published August 11, 2004

    Evanescence and Seether will be sittin' in a tree Friday, August 13, at the UMB Bank Pavilion. -- Nathan Dinsdale More >>

  • The Fiery Furnaces

    published August 4, 2004

    When rock & roll started to bloat in the mid-'70s as the fully fattened pig of Sgt. Pepper settled into the consciousness of insecure,... More >>

  • Black Martini

    published July 21, 2004

    It's not black, actually, but a deep, deep purple, the color of the precise moment when dusk turns to dark, when the sun has conceded its efforts... More >>

  • East St. Louis Spoof

    published July 14, 2004

    Reginald Hudlin has the perfect answer to East St. Louis' woes: Just secede from the union. The East St. Louis native, who made a name as the... More >>

  • The Leaning Bellini

    published July 14, 2004

    There are those of us whose knee-jerk reaction to a mass-market, faux-rustic Italian eatery with five area locations is to pshaw, roll the... More >>

  • The B-52's

    published July 14, 2004

    The B-52's More >>

  • Rabble Rousers

    published July 7, 2004

    You may have noticed legions of leaflet-toting activists infiltrating your neighborhood. They come by day and by night, their uncompromising world... More >>

  • Raspberry Margarita

    published July 7, 2004

    Tejas is a Tex-Mex place in Clayton, and we'll leave it at that: a simple acknowledgement that Clayton Tex-Mex is indeed an oxymoron, at least on... More >>

  • Gimme Shelter

    published July 7, 2004

    Rock & roll? Good. Philanthropy? Also good. Put the two together and you're sure to get the support of St. Louis' tenderhearted rock stars. To... More >>

  • We Spy

    published June 30, 2004

    St. Louis private eye Joe Adams has seen his share of battles. He's worked as a mercenary, infiltrated a cult and helped a Saudi Arabian prince... More >>

  • Cappuccino

    published June 30, 2004

    We missed the raspberries in the backyard, dang it to heck. They were right there, a 30-second walk from where we sleep, all plump and... More >>

  • Rémy Martin V.S.O.P. Fine Champagne Cognac

    published June 23, 2004

    Nothing like sitting in an office late at night, all alone. Work. Screw it, you know? It's like, not only do you gotta give up your time, you also... More >>

  • Magnetic Personality

    published June 23, 2004

    Stephin Merritt, the man behind the Magnetic Fields (and the 6ths, the Gothic Archies and Future Bible Heroes), is one of the most acclaimed... More >>

  • Whiskey-Ouzo Fix

    published June 16, 2004

    You can go to the pool. To the county fair. To the demolition derby. If you're bored, you can rub yourself and your honey down with insect... More >>

  • Reagan's Creed

    published June 16, 2004

    Midwest power-trio Shellac was scheduled to play St. Louis with the Conformists in October of 2002, but Shellac had to cancel due to drummer Todd... More >>

  • Expedition Reserve Pale Ale

    published June 9, 2004

    Ecstasy arrives in many forms. It can appear naturally, from a cool gust through a 4 a.m. window; via a vision of a squirrel on its hind legs,... More >>

  • Turkish Coffee

    published June 2, 2004

    The tar comes in a cute little cup about the size of a shot glass, with an itsy, delicate handle, and the cup sits upon an equally adorable... More >>

  • Name That Spud

    published May 26, 2004

    LaShanda Richardson thought she had met someone special when she and a guy named Lavell Webb struck up a conversation outside a house in north St.... More >>

  • Sangria Blanca

    published May 26, 2004

    You can play "Spot the Girl with the G-String" at Cardwell's, and you'll win, because there it is, staring right at you, a lacy lavender thang... More >>

  • Mississippi Drifting

    published May 19, 2004

    It is near midnight on the Mississippi River, 100 miles south of Memphis, and a towboat pushing 35 barges creeps like a bead of sweat down... More >>

  • Green and Horny Margarita

    published May 19, 2004

    It will mess you up if you're not careful, and your mind, once a pure, streamlined machine, will start skittering. Do not -- we repeat, do... More >>

  • Trappistes Rochefort 10

    published May 12, 2004

    It is thick and the color of a $2 million bag of soil. One sip and you're likely to end up with a forest of elms sprouting on your tongue, which,... More >>

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