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2000 Stories by Robert Wilonsky

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  • Blow Up the Box

    published December 27, 2000

    Thank God for old Jews with shaky hands and the inability to tell this word (G-O-R-E) from this one (B-U-C-H-A-N-A-N). Without them--and... More >>

  • Imperfect 10s

    published December 27, 2000

    Maybe it wasn't such a bad year for filmgoing after all, if only because it's far harder to assemble a Top 10 list this year than it was last... More >>

  • Twisp of the Tale

    published December 20, 2000

    Contained within a care package sent by C.D. Payne is a self-penned press release introducing the author as "the Rodney Dangerfield of comic... More >>

  • Broken and Battered

    published December 13, 2000

    Fair warning: Enough time has passed that it's OK to discuss the ending of writer-director M. Night Shyamalan's Unbreakable. Those who have... More >>

  • Telepathetic

    published December 13, 2000

    What Women Want could be the first movie to win a Clio Award for Advertisement of the Year. No fewer than two dozen products receive... More >>

  • Bless the Blockhead

    published December 6, 2000

    Christmastime is here, but for the first time, Charlie Brown's father will not be around to watch his depressed, round-headed child celebrate the... More >>

  • Held Hostage

    published December 6, 2000

    Day One: It was just part of the job, just another movie on another afternoon. This one promised to be no more special than any other, save... More >>

  • Call Him "Security"

    published November 22, 2000

    Unbreakable is such a quiet film that whenever a character speaks above a whisper, it sounds like the shattering of glass in a monastery.... More >>

  • Ransom Notes

    published November 8, 2000

    No one likes to be seen as the roadblock to a revolution. The unfortunate soul--or the dumb bastard--who chooses to impede progress is likely to... More >>

  • Baby, Get Back

    published November 8, 2000

    Doug Sulpy and Ray Schweig-hardt's book Get Back: The Unauthorized Chronicle of the Beatles' Let it Be Disaster contains the sort of... More >>

  • What, Them Worry?

    published November 1, 2000

    Let's get this out of the way right now, because so many of you will find this hard to believe: Yes, Mad magazine still exists. It is still... More >>

  • Farrah to Poor

    published November 1, 2000

    The opening credits of Charlie's Angels hint at a movie that never appears in the film's expurgated 94 minutes; the tease is... More >>

  • The Man of Ink

    published October 25, 2000

    Before others could reject him, Michael Chabon had convinced himself no one wanted to read an epic novel about comic-book creators, mythical... More >>

  • The Man of Many Face

    published October 18, 2000

    It has often been written of Chris Guest--or, if you prefer, Fifth Baron Christopher Haden-Guest, son of diplomat Peter Haden-Guest, who could... More >>

  • "Look! I Made This!"

    published October 11, 2000

    A cold breeze blows through an open window, and a football game silently unfolds on the television screen. The old man sitting on the couch... More >>

  • Dr. T and the Women

    published October 11, 2000

    Richard Gere, as Dallas gynecologist Sullivan Travis, has never been more likable onscreen, perhaps because he's never been more human, more... More >>

  • The Contender

    published October 11, 2000

    There's no getting around it: The Contender is the most offensive movie of the year. It pretends to be high-minded even while it slings mud... More >>

  • Rock and a Hard Place

    published October 4, 2000

    John Wesley Hall believes justice is a myth taught in classrooms, a fable found in law books, as imaginary as the unicorn and the mermaid. The... More >>

  • Meet the Parents

    published October 4, 2000

    Meet the Parents has just enough class to make for Prestige Pop: Robert De Niro as star, Randy Newman as composer, Blythe Danner as... More >>

  • Remember the Titans

    published September 27, 2000

    Remember the Titans -- based on a true story about how a football team brought together the segregated town of Alexandria, Va., in the early 1970s... More >>

  • Almost Famous

    published September 20, 2000

    At first, you don't want to admit it, because it seems somehow wrong--just too easy. After all, the woman on the other end of the phone line is... More >>

  • Almost Famous

    published September 20, 2000

    "This song explains why I'm leaving home and becoming a stewardess," says Anita Miller (Zooey Deschanel) to her well-meaning, overbearing mother,... More >>

  • A Fan's Notes

    published September 13, 2000

    Almost Famous is the movie Cameron Crowe always wanted to make--and the movie he tried to keep from making as long as he could. The... More >>

  • Bait

    published September 13, 2000

    It's unfortunate the title Being John Malkovich has already been taken, because it's a far better one than Bait -- and far more... More >>

  • School's Out

    published September 6, 2000

    A month ago, R.J. Cutler thought he found a home for his child, one that would coddle and nurture his baby until it was ready to stand on its own... More >>

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